


When the Glass Heart breaks

by Sharry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Azumane Asahi - focused, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, after First Preliminaries of the spring tournament, after season 3, around November, mention of depression, minor angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharry/pseuds/Sharry
Summary: After the First Preliminary rounds of the spring tournament, Karasuno High’s volleyball team prepares for Nationals in Tokyo. But one of the practice matches does not go well for Nishinoya and when Asahi, of all people, tries to cheer him up, he can’t take it anymore.It's just a brief argument, not even a real quarrel, but this time it seems that more is broken than just a broomstick.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> this is my first Haikyuu!-fic so i can't wait to hear what you guys think of it ;-)  
> The fic happens after the third season and will be completed with all in all nine chapters. I will update every sunday (if real life happens it might turn to every other sunday, but it will be updated!)
> 
> The story mainly focuses on Asahi and Nishinoya, but as it's close to canon, the others aren't left behind of course.
> 
> Because I'm a non-native I have an awesome Beta to help me with this fic, but I'm still eager to improve and welcome all forms of concrit, so please don't be shy ;-)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this story!

Chapter 1

 

“Thank you for the game!”

They bowed deeply, mirroring the movement of the other high school students on the other side of the net.

“This was indeed a successful day,” coach Ukai praised from the sidelines, grinning broadly and clapping his hands. “Better be grateful to the Ougiminami’s team for coming over just for this practice match, even during the week.”

“Thank you!”

They bowed unanimously again in front of the other team before they went forward and shook hands under the net.

“Oh, we have to thank you,” Coach Ninomiya replied, patting Ukai on the shoulder, “since our girls’ team also has a training game at our place today, we wouldn't have had any chance to train today otherwise.”

“Well, if you say so …” Both coaches also shook hands. “Anyway, next time we will visit you.”

“I would really appreciate it, especially if it’s during the weekend so we could share some sake afterwards.”

After the other team had left Karasuno’s volleyball team spent several minutes discussing the past afternoon, but despite some criticism, the words of praise outnumbered the negative ones by far and they had good reasons to be in such a good mood. They had won almost every single set.

Of course Ougiminami wasn’t one of the strongest teams in their prefecture - Karasuno had already dominated them during the First Preliminaries of the spring tournament in August - but while the crows had been preparing for the championships in Tokyo, Ougiminami had taken the  tournament-free time to completely review their strategy and that seemed to pay off. They had become much stronger, although they were still no match for Karasuno.

“That was so cool! Did you see Kageyama, the last ball made a really nice  _ swoosh and _ it landed right on the line. That's what I call skill.”

“I thought it sounded more like a  _ puff _ ,” Tanaka interjected with a laugh, sticking his tongue out at the short middle-blocker.

“That was because Hinata only hit the ball with the palm of his hand and not with the whole hand,” the Kageyama explained seriously. ”It was a fluke, nothing more.”

“What the heck?!” Hinata jumped straight at the other. “That was a  _ swoosh _ and fully on purpose to hit that line! If I don't hit them right, they otherwise feel more like a _ blop _ .”

“Is this yet another primary school level conversation?” Tsukishima smirked, throwing the remaining balls into the basket. 

“Hey, you over there,” Daichi interrupted them, “get on with cleaning up, it's already late and we all have school tomorrow.”

“Those of you who have a longer way home should go ahead and change,” Sugawara agreed, “we will take care of the rest. By that I mean especially you Hinata! It's already dark and you have a long way to go over the hill.”

Sugawara swiftly dragged their team’s greatest decoy away, who was just trying to get into a fight with Tsukishima.

“Hey, can I go change, too?” Tanaka asked while Yamaguchi and Ennoshita locked Hinata between them and pulled him along, followed by Kinoshita, Narita, and Tsukishima – who didn’t live that far away at all. “My sis is visiting today and I …”

“Yeah, go ahead, we’re almost done anyway,” Daichi approved with a wink.

“Oh Daichi, you’re really good-natured today, aren’t you?” Asahi took the folded net from his captain and put it over his forearm.

“Oh you know, I thought because you had such a good day today, you can clean up the rest all by yourself.”

Laughing, Daichi patted his ace strongly on the shoulder, who was visibly appalled by that statement.

“Don’t always take everything I say so seriously, you wimp. You don’t even get a joke, do you?”

“Oh, Daichi. Don't make it even harder for the poor guy, he finally had a decent day today.” From behind, Sugawara approached, pushing the ball basket in front of him.

“Thanks Suga... I guess.”

Mocking each other – with the team's ace having to take in the most – the third-years continued to work quickly. Except for Kageyama and Nishinoya, the others had left to change or had already set off.

Both Mr. Takeda and coach Ukai had left right after the briefing to attend an important counsel of the school's various coaches and club advisers. Maybe they would get a slightly higher budget for the volleyball club for the upcoming new year.

Shimizu and Yachi on the other hand had not managed to move their appointments around to attend the short-term practice match. Mr. Takeda had only received the request last Friday.

But none of the remaining ones were bothered that they were so few; setting up before and cleaning up after a workout was part of the daily routine and almost had something meditative about it.

Today, with most of the team’s trouble makers already gone, it also had something pleasantly quiet.

“Did you notice it?” Sugawara whispered to his captain while watching the rest of those present from the corner of his eye. “Nishinoya is unusually quiet.”

Daichi just nodded and started collecting the last towels.

“Just leave him be, tomorrow he’ll be alright again, you’ll see.”

Nodding, though not entirely convinced, Sugawara looked around. They were done.

“I'm leaving now as well. See you tomorrow,” Kageyama waved at them, leaving without even waiting for an answer. He hadn't even changed and neither of the two third-years knew when he had had the time to fetch his bag.

“Kageyama on the other hand seems quite satisfied,” Sugawara said, shrugging his shoulders.

“You think so, Suga? He didn’t look that different to me.” They headed for the locker room. “Our Asahi, however, was really at his best today if you ask me.”

The vice-captain laughed softly: “Yeah, he almost seemed like an ace, right?”

“Too kind Suga.” Said ace entered the locker room behind them, a frozen smile on his lips and a small worry crease between his eyes.

“Oh, Asahi, don't always take everything to heart. I was just really impressed by how consistent you were today - and so confident.”

Asahi didn't seem entirely convinced by Sugawara's words. He shrugged off his sweaty shirt.

“Why does this sound more like an insult out of your mouth?”

Again, the other two third-years laughed, but were rendered silent when the door opened behind Asahi and their libero came in.

Sugawara and Daichi exchanged a serious look and almost missed how Azumane regarded Nishinoya for a long moment before he nodded reassuringly to himself.

“Hey Nish…”

“Daichi, Suga. Why don't you two get going? You have already changed, and I can lock everything up; I don't have a long way home. See you tomorrow, alright?”

Surprised, the two stared at their ace with big eyes and open mouths. They didn't know what was more unusual. That Asahi had, in fact, interrupted Daichi or that he told them to leave without him.

Mentally they discussed what to do, but came to the conclusion that if Asahi already had set his mind to deal with Nishinoya himself, they should respect that and not unnecessarily doubt his momentum of self-confidence.

“Well, fine with me, here’s the key to the front doors, Asahi. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you, Asahi, Nishinoya.”

Both libero and ace waved goodbye. Nishinoya without even looking up while taking off his shorts. Asahi with an almost self-assured smile.

“Really don’t know which of the two worries me more,” Sugawara mused as they left the gym behind.

“Nah, don’t stress yourself, Suga. Nishinoya just wasn’t at his usual best today, that’s it. Tomorrow he is definitely fine again. Asahi, however, concerns me as well. We have to be careful that Mister Arrogant here doesn’t become too full of himself. We don’t need an Oikawa 2.0. in addition to Kageyama.”

They both laughed.

“Luckily Asahi has little in common with Oikawa, so we don't need to worry about that at least. But sometimes I'd wish he’d at least take a leaf from Oikawa’s book of confidence,” Sugawara thoughtfully admitted. “It's a good thing he has Nishinoya.”

“I guess that's why he stayed.”

They turned around a corner.

“Since Asahi is such a wimp, he notices quickly when others in the team are struggling with themselves …”

“... And if that one’s our Nishinoya, of course it beats up Asahi too,” Sugawara finished Daichi’s sentence with a sigh. “Especially because Nishinoya is always so strong and confident and knows what to say whenever Asahi has a hard time, I think it’s almost worse for Asahi when Nishinoya is feeling down.”

Daichi nodded in agreement and slowed down his pace as they reached the crossroad where they would go their separate ways.

“I just wonder if it’s really necessary to give Nishinoya a pep-talk. He is not a machine, he sometimes makes mistakes, and he knows that best of all. I'm sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

Sugawara folded his arms and paused.

“You disagree?”

“What? Oh no, no. But I wonder if Asahi noticed something that we missed. After all he wanted to talk with Nishinoya knowing that he’ll be alright. He knows Nishinoya’s quirks by heart and still he wanted to talk with him, so...”

Shoulder shrugging, Daichi also stopped, but his vice-captain already showed his wide grin again.

“Oh well, I’m probably worried for nothing. Maybe our wimp of an ace will finally grow up and become a real man. "

Laughing slightly, Daichi walked on, waving at Sugawara in goodbye.

“Don’t expect the impossible, Suga. I bet by tomorrow, Asahi will be the same wimp as always.”

“Just let me dream a little bit.”

 

*****

 

Not half as confident as mere seconds ago, Asahi took off his gym shoes and stuffed them into his bag together with his other sports clothes. 

A few seconds ago, he had believed that he knew exactly what he had to do. But now that he had sent Daichi and Sugawara away and nobody was left besides the thunderhead called Nishinoya, he wasn’t so sure after all.

“So that’s what I’d call a successful practice match,” he said laughing half-heartedly, “and we only had to do a few penalty laps.”

Behind him, Nishinoya grumbled something under his breath in agreement .

Asahi’s palms started to sweat; he wanted to do this right, didn't want Nishinoya to leave with such a bitter aftertaste. To be totally honest Asahi wasn’t good at lifting somebody’s spirit – because usually he was the one in need of encouragement – but that was also the reason why he knew how important it was to comfort a team member.

Especially if it was their team’s backbone who struggled; especially if it was the very one who hardly ever doubted himself.

“Although I have to admit that Towada-san has improved a lot. His new role as captain seems to suit him; still he’s no match against Daichi.”

Nishinoya grumbled something barely understandable again, but Asahi didn’t mind as he slowly got a feeling for this conversation. He put his shirt on.

“It was only because Ougiminami functioned that well as a team that we were able to try out some really weird stuff.”

Carefully, he buttoned up every single button and reflected on the past afternoon.

“My jump serves improved a lot, but the delayed spike still gives me some difficulties. I almost jumped into the net one time, looking as stupid as Hinata.”

This time he received no reaction and when he turned around he saw Nishinoya holding his uniform, his head lowered.

It hurt.

It was alright for Nishinoya to be disappointed; he could grow loud, angry, downright scary if he wanted. That was alright, as long as he screamed his anger into the world.

But this...quiet brooding with a bowed head, this didn’t fit their libero at all. Yet Asahi knew that kind of behavior almost too well and that was the very reason why he needed to act.

“Hey Nishinoya, it's …”

“Don't say it.”

Nishinoya hadn't moved.

“I don't wanna hear it.”

It was okay, Nishinoya was hurt, disappointed in himself; that was why he was talking with such an angry voice.

Taking a deep breath Asahi nodded to himself in confirmation, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.

“Come on, Yū, everyone of us has such days some...”

“Shut up, will ya?!”

Nishinoya slapped his hand away.

“You have no idea what’s going on!” 

Nishinoya spun around and stared him down, crumbling the jersey in his hand.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad, Nishi …”

“Five times!”

The libero almost shoved his outstretched hand in Asahi’s face.

“Five times you had to fend off attacks that were intended for me today, because I sucked at my job.”

It hurt when Nishinoya looked at him like that.

“Nishinoya, it was just a practice match, and what’s so bad about me polishing my defensive sk...?”

“No!”

Asahi took a step back.

“I can’t attack or block, I can’t even serve. My only damn job is to save the balls, so you can score points. This is my fucking job! That’s the only shitty reason for me, the only damn right I have to stand on the field!”

This time Asahi didn’t move as Nishinoya took a step towards him.

“If you have to receive a ball because I didn’t, because I couldn’t cover you, I take away your opportunity to score a point. At that moment I’m nothing but a hindrance, a burden. If I play like today, I lose my purpose and have no right to call myself a...”

“Hold it right there!”

Now Asahi was the one to step forward as he looked down at Nishinoya. His heart was raging, and his fear was towering above him. Fear of those fierce eyes, those hurting words, those shaking fists.

But this time he wouldn’t run; this time he would face Nishinoya and stand his ground, just like the other one usually did.

“I never want to hear you say that again, understood?! Not ever again!”

The depths of his own voice surprised Asahi, but even more, it seemed to also impress Nishinoya.

“Let’s get this straight; you  _ are _ the libero, specialist of defense - and you are the best one I know.”

Nishinoya tried to interrupt him, but Asahi was just picking up speed. 

“But even you make mistakes and even you have bad days and to be totally blunt that reassures me a lot. I never planned on saying it out loud, but you and Kageyama, the two of you are that damn good, it really puts a lot of pressure on us mere mortals.”

Nishinoya didn’t look at him anymore, but dropped his head. For the first time he didn’t try to speak up; maybe Asahi would now be able to reach him.

“By the way, I don’t care how many times you mess up and how many mistakes you make. The only thing that matters to me is that you’re with me on the court till the end of each single game. I will get twice as many points for each mistake you make; after all, that’s my job as the ace. I know you think, because your duty is defense, that you have to deal with it on your own, but only one person can get a point at a time and there are six of us on the court. So, I really don’t mind giving that opportunity to somebody else if that means I can cover your back. After all, the most important part of the game is not to have the strongest offense but to keep the ball in the air.”

He was breathing heavily, like he had just lost a race against Hinata, but Asahi felt good. He had found the right words – at least most of the time – and he meant everything he had said. They were a team and if one of them weakened, the rest would support the struggling one. It didn’t matter if he got that point or another one; the most important thing was that the ball stayed in the game.

For what felt like half an eternity they were both silent and Asahi began to feel stressed about whether he had said something wrong and how he could keep the conversation going.

“You don’t get it.”

Nishinoya still wasn’t looking at him and just shook his head.

“You just don't want to get it.”

“What are you talking about, Nishi…”

“I don't want you to defend for me!”

Nishinoya's head rushed upwards and Asahi almost stumbled back.

“I don't need your help! I’m the libero, the guardian deity.  _ I _ am the one who guards your back, not the other way around. I don’t need your help! I don’t need  _ you _ !”

It hurt.

“You’re offense, I’m defense! It’s not your fucking job to protect me and I don’t want you to guard me! Got it?!”

Nishinoya ripped his bag from the cupboard and rushed out of the door, leaving Asahi behind. When he reached out, the other one was long gone.

Asahi’s body trembled and his jaw quivered.

He had to calm down; it was fine - Nishinoya was just angry at himself because he was having a bad day. He certainly hadn't meant those words that way. Asahi wasn't good at cheering up other people, so he must have said something wrong to upset Nishinoya even further.

Slowly he pulled his hand back; the very one Noya had slapped away.

“He didn’t mean it that way,” he whispered into the empty room, but he couldn’t stop the tears as they slipped down his cheeks.

“He certainly didn’t mean it that way.”

 

*****

 

He had been running the whole way back home – not that it was such a long way; maybe five minutes. 

Today had been a hell of a day.

Somehow his legs hadn’t been working properly; his feet had felt heavy like stones and his hands clumsy, like he had carried weights attached to his wrists.

No, it had been anything but a good day.

During the first set he had missed four points simply because he had been too slow, points he could have saved if his body had moved only a little bit faster, responded a little bit better.

Afterwards it had only become worse and he had grown more and more frantic; his usual calmness, which was of great importance for his game, had been gone. During the second-last set he had wanted to ask coach Ukai to not send him back on the court. He had been scared; he didn’t want to fail over and over again, leaving holes for his teammates to fill the moment he left the field.

But he hadn’t been able to come up with the words he needed. He hadn’t even found enough courage for that.

He knew Daichi had noticed it immediately; the captain with the solid defensive, good enough to make up even for a failing libero like him. During the course of the game Daichi had quite subtly expanded his area of defense and had taken the more difficult balls, leaving the simple ones to Nishinoya - but even there he had messed up.

It hadn’t just been Daichi. Even Hinata - who handled every second ball with his head or chest - had almost been better than Nishinoya today and that was certainly not due to the first-year’s skills.

He had no idea what was going on, why he hadn’t been able to simply function.

Furious, Nishinoya hurried into the bathroom and jumped under the freezing jet of water, still completely dressed.

He was the libero, the deity of defense, the backbone of the team. He could not attack, nor block, nor serve. His sad attempts of setting a ball had failed both times he’d actually dared to do so.

Actually, he wondered why Kageyama hadn’t said anything about it, hadn’t stared at him with that sour glare he often gave Hinata or Tsukishima.

Asahi was wrong, the only superhuman among them was clearly Kageyama. Although they had used this training match to try out new tactics and tricks, their youngest team member had hardly seemed insecure. Nishinoya on the other hand - he angrily hit the shower wall – he had made so many mistakes that he hadn’t even been able to count them.

_ I will get twice as many points for each mistake you make, after all that’s my job as the ace.  _

Surprisingly, they had hardly lost any sets, despite all his mistakes, despite all the tests, and no one, neither the coach, nor Daichi or Kageyama, not even Sugawara or Tsukishima, and certainly not Hinata or Tanaka, none of them had called him out even once. Not once had they looked at him in anger or frustration.

His comrades were awesome.

And Asahi…

_ Next one, Nishinoya! _

_ Good receive, Nishinoya! _

_ I got this one! _

_ Don’t worry about it, Nishinoya! _

_ Nishinoya! _

_ Don’t worry, I’m here! I got you! I’m right behind you! _

_ By the way I don’t care how many times you mess up and how many mistakes you make. The only thing that matters to me is that you’re with me on the court til the end of each single game. _

Shaking his head, he turned off the water.

When the hell did Asahi become so awesome?

He realized it now: during the last two sets, when he had barely been able to keep himself from running away, his ace had kept close to him.

Now that Nishinoya reviewed the final scenes in his mind, he could see it very clearly; he’d thought Asahi had covered him five times, but now he realized that it had been way more often. It had been more than five times in the last set alone.

It wasn't Asahi’s job - he was offense. He was the damn ace!

Frankly, Asahi wasn’t the best when it came to defense, he was not as good as Daichi by far and yet he had been there, especially whenever the captain hadn't been able to do it. Asahi had exceeded himself, partly because Nishinoya had simply sucked today.

_ I never want to hear you say that again, understood?! Not ever again! _

Slowly he nodded. Asahi was right after all!

He was the libero and even though he made mistakes and even though today was his worst day since he had joined the club, he was still a good defender and he was not alone -  there were six of them on the court.

So even though Nishinoya didn’t like it, even if it was his job to guard the others’ backs, he quietly admitted to himself that it was incredibly reassuring to know that he didn’t have to carry that burden all alone.

_ That's my job as the ace. _

When the hell did Asahi become so awesome?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> as I'm on the move tomorrow I thought it would be a nice thing to post today, so here you go.
> 
> I want to thank you guys for your comments and kudos. Posting a new fic - especially in a new fandom - always makes me nervous, so thanks for the warm welcome ;-)
> 
> I hope you have a great weekend 
> 
> Sharry

Chapter 2

 

“Good morning, are you guys waiting for me?”

It was merely five past seven when Sugawara reached the gym. He was late because he had stayed up longer than expected studying and had to pack his schoolbag this morning.

As expected, their odd power couple of first-years as well as Tanaka and Nishinoya were already waiting close to the gym’s entrance. Next to them stood Daichi and Kinoshita, waving at him.

“Why are you still outside?” He asked as he got closer.

“Well, yesterday I gave Asahi my keys and he isn’t here yet,” Daichi answered with a laugh, rubbing the back of his head. To his right Yamaguchi and Tsukishima appeared, both yawning in unison.

While unlocking the door Sugawara scrutinized their libero, but his concern wasn’t necessary. Grinning like a fool, Nishinoya was explaining to a way too enthusiastic Hinata what kind of new, unforgiving, special training he had decided to subject himself to make up for his faults of yesterday.

Sugawara barely had time to open the door before the others rushed past him to set up the gym.

“Whatever Asahi did yesterday, it worked,” he mused as Daichi came beside him, nodding thoughtfully.

“I still don’t know if such a conversation was really necessary. Nishinoya won’t crumble that easily; on the other hand it’s always easier if you don’t have to handle everything on your own, so I guess it was a good call from Asahi.”

With those words their daily morning practice started and until quarter past seven all club members showed up - all except their ace.

Yet there were so many things to discuss from the last day that almost no one noticed at first.

“Sawamura-san, you know why Azumane-san hasn’t shown up yet? He wanted to train a new attack with me today.”

Kageyama had noticed. During the match yesterday, the setter had ended up in countless conversations with Asahi about things they wanted to try out during practice.

The captain knew Kageyama had been aware that something had been off the last evening. He had, after all, vanished as soon as possible, either because he had been very considerate or because he had tried his best to avoid drama that didn’t concern him; both options seemed fairly possible.

“Nah, don’t worry. He probably just overslept. Yesterday was a tough day on all of us.”

Without replying, Kageyama lifted one eyebrow - which always slightly irritated Daichi – and rushed off towards Hinata, who had chosen this very moment to show his best imitation of Kageyama in front of Tanaka and Nishinoya.

Hinata realized too late that Kageyama was coming for him and was barely able to dodge the setter’s iron fist.

Somewhat dissatisfied, Daichi watched the front door; the morning training was almost over, and Asahi just didn’t show up. It was unusual for their faltering ace to miss even one workout; he was just way too scared of Daichi or losing his title to Tanaka or Hinata.

Sighing, he shook his head. Pointless headaches wouldn’t get him anywhere.

“Okay folks, we should clean up now or we’ll be late for class. Kageyama, Hinata, Nishinoya! Didn’t you hear me? Stop it and clean up!”

They agreed, but within the same breath Hinata and Nishinoya kept begging for another ball, just one more!

“Don’t worry about Azumane.”

To his surprise, Kiyoko suddenly stood next to him.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The manager looked up from her clipboard and met his eyes in her usual seriousness.

“As you know, I couldn't make it yesterday afternoon as I had career counseling. Today class 3 has their appointments and tomorrow it’s your and Sugawara’s turn. I’m certain Azumane got one of the early slots and simply forgot to tell you because of the unexpected  match yesterday.”

“Yeah, you're probably right,” Daichi laughed half-heartedly, while his eyes followed Sugawara, who jumped with the elegance of a ballet dancer to fetch a ball mid-air, before the setter turned around and scolded Nishinoya and Hinata.

 

*****

 

However, Asahi didn’t show up for practice after classes either.

He was sick, Mr. Takeda told them, and hadn’t even made it to school.

The rest of them trained like always.

“What’s wrong with you, Daichi? You almost looked cheerful when Takeda-sensei told us that Asahi was sick,” Sugawara teased him while they practiced setting up.

“Not true,” Daichi replied, before passing the ball to his setter. Daichi started running and jumped as high as he could.

As expected, the ball came to his hand in a perfect arc, Sugawara knew him just too well.

“I’m just a little relieved, that’s all,” he quietly confessed as he was back on the ground again, looking at his classmate seriously. “Honestly, I was a bit worried, but as long as he’s just sick, he’ll certainly be back by tomorrow.”

“Azumane-san is not sick.” In unison Sugawara and Daichi turned to Kageyama, who stood by the net next to them, having just played an equally perfect ball to Tanaka.

“Yesterday was his best performance I’ve ever seen, physically and emotionally. It’s unlikely he feels great one day and is so sick the next one he can’t even go to school.”

Their young prodigy stated this so matter-of-factly that Daichi couldn’t even get mad about the silent accusation. Not so much Tanaka who had heard their conversation.

“You seriously wanna say Asahi-san’s not only skipping school but even practice?!” He yelled, grabbing Kageyama by the collar and pulling him close.

“You really need to sort out your priorities,” Tsukishima mumbled from the other side of the net, where he and Hinata were receiving the balls.

“Wait a second,” Sugawara interrupted their quarrel, “we all know that Asahi is way too much of a scaredy crow to skip school. If he’s sick, he’s sick.”

Tanaka nodded generously, but Kageyama seemed far from convinced.

He opened his mouth to reply something, but suddenly trainer Ukai barked at them and reminded them that they were in the middle of training. Yamaguchi and Ennoshita were waiting for them, a grim grin on their faces and Narita behind them was slightly shaking his head with a subtle smirk.

As practice was slowly coming to an end, both third-years found themselves close to the trainer’s bench, taking care of some documents with Shimizu. Mr. Takeda had already left because of a teacher conference.

“You guys are still worrying about Azumane, aren’t you?” Kiyoko remarked astutely. Captain and setter shared a concerned glance. Sometimes they wondered if their manager was able to read thoughts.

“Nah, what are you talking about?” Sugawara tried to wave it away with a fake smile while Daichi shook his head and rubbed his neck.

“I have to admit I’m also a little bit surprised,” she confessed smiling gently while watching the court. “During the past three years Azumane has never been sick. Yes, after that game against Date Tech he stopped coming to practice, but he never missed school, because he wasn’t physically ill.”

“Like I said, I don’t think that Azumane-san’s actually sick.”

Startled, Sugawara jumped around, while Daichi and Shimizu looked up in surprise.

Kageyama stood at the far end of the bench, putting down his bottle. Sweat was running down his temples, but his eyes were calm and focused.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Sugawara complained. He knew that the first-year didn’t mean any harm.  Kageyama was just analyzing the situation with his annoyingly rational mind and expressed the results without any sugar-coating. 

“Like I said,” the younger setter replied, slightly annoyed, “Azumane-san was in such good shape yesterday, I doubt he’s so sick today that he can’t even make it to school. Of course, it would be different if he had been in an accident or something like that.”

“Hey, don't jinx anything, okay?” Daichi cut him off.

“Kageyama is right!” The third-years turned towards the other side of the bench, where Hinata was reaching for the towel Yachi was giving him. Compared to Kageyama, he looked like he had rushed through a rainstorm, yet did not seem exhausted at all. “Asahi-san was really cool yesterday. Each of his serves was so fast and powerful, like  _ whuff _ and then  _ BAM _ . I wish I could serve like that.”

“Not in a million years,” Kageyama commented rudely, only to be attacked by Hinata.

“Well, they aren’t wrong,” Kiyoko agreed serenely, while the two first-years were picking on each other, with only the desperate Yachi between them. “I also noticed that Azumane was much louder on the field than usual.”

Daichi and Sugawara shared another look.

That was true. Asahi was never as loud as Tanaka or Hinata, but even he praised good receives and called as often as he could for the ball.

Yesterday, however, it had been more, not just better communication, not just more flowing movements. His pure presence had been felt all over the court and this had just been a practice match where they had wanted to try out different things.

“He almost had the presence of a real ace,” Sugawara whispered, but he didn’t mean it as a little side swipe; he wasn’t mocking Asahi. No, Sugawara slowly realized why he himself had been so calm yesterday.

Daichi nodded slowly, thoughtfully holding his chin.

“Now that you mention it... Usually Asahi feels a momentum quickly but he notes even faster when it flips over, yet yesterday he was the one who built up the mood.”

“Indeed.”  Coach Ukai came over to them, obviously having noticed what they were talking about. “I am surprised that you realize that only now, even though yesterday Azumane was clearly no longer the Azumane we have known so far.”

Those addressed looked up in surprise.

By now Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and the second-years came closer as they noticed that their coach was talking in a serious manner, while Tanaka tried to free Hinata, who was tangled up in the net after Kageyama had thrown him there.

“At first I thought he was simply having a good day or was just not as nervous and insecure as usual, because you had already defeated your opponent before.”

The team mumbled in agreement.

“But if I'm honest, I believe it's more than that,” their coach explained. “Perhaps it’s a good thing that Azumane is not there today; now I can talk openly to you without putting pressure on him, because yesterday our ace showed that he is far from reaching his personal limit.”

Tanaka and Hinata couldn't prevent a loud "Oh!" while Nishinoya explained with a laugh that this certainly wasn’t new to him; after all, they were talking about Asahi, their ace.

“But why making a fuss about it?” Tsukishima asked and lifted his glasses to wipe the sweat from his nose. “We’re all training to improve, what’s so special about our ace doing what’s expected from an ace for once?”

“Tsukishima!!” 

The tall blond quickly made his escape from their smallest team member.

Ukai scratched the back of his head.

“Of course you’re right, but what I’m trying to say is, that...”

“Yesterday Azumane-san showed his real potential as an ace for the first time.”

Everybody turned dead silent when Kageyama interrupted their coach.

“Hey!” Daichi scolded him. “You can’t just interrupt when and how it suits you!”

“It’s okay Sawamura,” Ukai waved it aside. “Kageyama is completely right and so is Tsukishima.”

Nishinoya stopped chasing Tsukishima and pouted his cheeks while Ukai continued to talk.

“Azumane is indeed a good player, his strength is impressive, especially for his age, and aside from his frail confidence he has no big weaknesses; that’s why he’s Karasuno’s ace. But being an ace is about more than just crushing blocks and scoring points. If you take a closer look at the other aces of the teams we know, you quickly notice that the really good ones among them are usually one of a kind; most of them are much more than just good players. Yet up until now Azumane had not been able to fill this unnamed  _ more -  _ until now.”

He nodded to Kageyama, who folded his arms and watched the ground in concentration as he spoke.

“Azumane-san came to me during the first set yesterday and asked me to set up the balls for him inaccurately on purpose. I wasn’t really fond of that idea and I didn’t want to do it at first, but he said that training matches were used for trying out critical positions, so…”

“Now I get it!” Tanaka hit the open palm with his fist as if he had just solved a complicated mystery. “I thought your sets looked kind of weird yesterday, but since mine felt as good as usual, I just thought you had a bad day.”

“I don't have bad days,” Kageyama grumbled.

Laughing softly, Sugawara also folded his arms. “That's a cocky question to ask a setter. I don’t want to imagine how exhausting it must be to set a ball intentionally badly, especially for you.”

Kageyama waved it off. “At first it was difficult, but then I wondered how Hinata would set a ball and after that it was actually quite…”

“What?! Why me, of all people?!”

“Because your sets suck.”

Their coach cleared his throat to interrupt the upcoming quarrel.

“Exactly, for Azumane such a self-confident - but also selfish - demand is not a given, because he is always concerned about everything and everyone."

“Unlike others,” Tsukishima whispered, glaring sharply at some of his teammates.

“Yesterday he had been on point no matter what he did,” Ukai continued, “but honestly I doubt it would be good for Azumane if he knew how much he could improve. But to put it straight, if he ever becomes able to be that good on a regular basis and learns to reach his true potential as an ace, then he...”

He didn’t finish the sentence but looked at them all calmly.

Again, it was Kageyama who ended his coach's thought: “Then he could soon become among the best five aces in all of Japan.”

Silence.

Even the team members who could never keep their mouths shut didn’t know what to say, so Ukai took advantage of the moment and nodded slowly.

“Correct. We all know that with Kageyama and Nishinoya we have two outstanding naturals on our team, who embody a potential that is hard for average folks like the rest of us to ever reach. Our Hinata on the other hand is always full of surprises and maybe one day he can put his name among the list of overachievers as well. But I have to confess that until yesterday I would not have put Azumane on this list and I am pretty sure that - unlike Hinata or Nishinoya - he would not be spurred on by such praise, but would only feel the pressure to live up to those words.”

Sugawara nodded in agreement, now looking even more serious than before. He opened his mouth to say something, but Ukai wasn’t done talking yet.

“That’s why I’m glad we can talk about that now without him here, so he doesn’t feel the pressure,” their trainer explained, regarding each of them carefully. “We’re all aware that some of our positions are manned unusually and I think Azumane isn’t an exception in that regard. Right now, some might still wonder why somebody like him can be our ace, but when he finally recognizes his potential and begins to expand it, he’s in the position to redefine the requirements of an ace.”

“Boah, that’s so cool!”

Hinata's squeal shattered the silent tension that had wavered through the gym.

“And when I become the next ace of Karasuno, that means that I’ll even surpass Asahi!”

“Idiot! You talk big but you can’t even come up with a decent serve.”

While Kageyama and Hinata continued their little quarrel, coach Ukai reminded the rest of them to approach the issue with caution, before addressing several other topics of the past game and emphasizing various aspects. However, Nishinoya's lack of performance was barely mentioned. Their coach felt no need to explain to the libero what he already knew.

Besides, it wasn’t as if the past day was still looming like a dark cloud over Nishinoya. He had already accepted that even he was no machine and thus made mistakes. That was why he was not alone on the court.

Long after the sun had set, they began to clean up and everything was like usual. Well, almost everything.

Nishinoya, usually running and joking around with Hinata and Tanaka like a kid with too much sugar input, was taking care of his tasks in silent diligence, an almost unnatural smile never leaving his face.

“You seem to be in a particularly good mood today,” Sugawara remarked with a laugh as they folded the net together.

“Yes, of course. You heard what Ukai said about Asahi-san. I’ve always known he’s good, of course - and I mean not just good, but crazy damn good - but now to get confirmation that he can really make it to the very top ... Ukai didn’t only say he could be one of the best, but among the best of the aces, so the best of the best, that’s totally…”

“But you also realized we’re not supposed to tell Asahi, do you? He would put too much pressure on himself and then lose his head,” the setter laughed, before thoughtfully looking at the net in his hands.

“Yeah, but it’s so cool right? And I’m so glad that yesterday turned out this way. Because honestly yesterday sucked, but I’m fine with that now, just because of Asahi-san.”

“Nishinoya…” Sugawara mumbled worriedly.

“Nah, it’s all good Suga-san. I mean, yesterday I was truly pissed off about all and everything, but Asahi-san talked to me and I kind of realized it’s alright if I can’t give 110% every single time I’m playing, because you guys will back me up on those days.”

Sugawara watched Nishinoya in surprise; those were some high expectations the other one set up for himself.

“Of course I’m still the libero, so the defense is my specialty, but that doesn’t mean my team members can’t help me. I know you guys feel better because you know that I got your back. But honestly since yesterday I kind of realized that every single one of you also got my back and that feels really good.”

Sugawara could barely hold back his tears over so much confidence and team spirit.

“I’m glad the conversation with Asahi helped you,” he said calmly, instead of throwing himself into the arms of the libero and letting his tears run freely.

Slowly, they brought the net away.

“It really has,” Nishinoya muttered thoughtfully, “Asahi-san was just incredible yesterday. I’m not even talking about his spikes or serves. The defense is usually not his strength but he was still able to catch for me more often than I wanted him to have to. But what really got me was how he stepped up for you guys when I couldn’t. When I crumbled, he made sure to lift up the team’s spirit and that was so awesome.”

Sugawara agreed silently. Asahi was a coward and one of the first to fold under pressure. In addition, he was quick to realize when a fellow player was stumbling and was then usually too easily pulled along downhill.

But not yesterday - yesterday he had probably realised as one of the first that Nishinoya was not in his usual condition and had then stepped onto the court himself.

Yesterday, Asahi had been their backbone.

“You're right,” Sugawara said with a smile, “I never thought that our negative goatee would rise to the occasion and take your throne of confidence and sovereignty.”

“Oh, he’s not there yet,” Nishinoya laughed as they came back out of the equipment room and strolled towards the changing rooms. They had taken their time - Sugawara had found this conversation extremely important - so it was hardly surprising that the rest of the work had been done already.

“But you know, yesterday I really thought about how cool Asahi had become.”

“Oh really?” The setter asked in doubt, but Nishinoya was dead serious.

“You should’ve seen him. He even interrupted me with his deep, manly voice, he even got loud and said some cool stuff like “ _ For each of your mistakes, I'm going to score twice as many points, because that's my job as an ace”,  _ or “ _ As long as you stand on the court with me, I'm ready to cover your back any time”, _ or something like that. I was really impressed by him. He didn’t back down, he stood there like a huge tree, yelling at me and lifting me up.”

Sugawara was impressed. Yesterday he had doubted that it was a wise idea to leave the encouragement to her most insecure player, but apparently Asahi had done everything just right, had surpassed himself even there.

Grinning, Sugawara pulled his shirt over. He might not be allowed to tell Asahi that he had the potential to be the top ace, but he could probably praise him tomorrow for the good job he had done with Nishinoya. He could make sure Asahi would become a tiny bit more confident, perhaps enough for their ace to discover his true form.

Yes, he was already looking forward to this new task; a new strategy that he could also pursue off the field to help his fellow players and this team and tomorrow he would start with that.

But the next morning came and Asahi still didn’t show up.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> once again I'm posting even though it's not sunday yet, but I'm too busy tomorrow to make it to my computer, so i just say enjoy ;-)
> 
> Thank you all very much for your lovely comments and kudos, i really appreciate them.
> 
> Sharry

Chapter 3

 

“Kageyama, hey Kageyama, just wait a second!”

“Stop screaming, stupid idiot. What do you want? Practice is over and I gotta get home and do some homework.”

“Since when do you care about homework?”

Hinata was able to dodge the sports bag the setter threw after him at the very last moment.

It had been a day like any other: morning practice, boring classes, practice in the afternoon, everything was as always.

Almost as always.

Even the hyper Hinata had noticed that something was different.

“It's just like back then,” he muttered, handing Kageyama back his sports bag, “don’t you think?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about?” Kageyama replied unimpressed, moving on.

Except for Sugawara and Daichi, who still had some organizational stuff to discuss with coach Ukai, Mr. Takeda, Kiyoko, and Hitoka, everyone else had already left.

“Like how Sugawara-san and Sawamura-san reacted, whenever someone mentioned Asahi-san. It was just like in the beginning, when we joined the club.”

“You think so?” Kageyama wondered and observed the empty gym. “I thought everybody was kind of in a good mood. Especially Nishinoya-san seemed fine, considering how bad he was during the practice match. I guess Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san are simply worried because Azumane-san has been sick for the last two days.”

Hinata didn’t answer, simply crossed his arms, before nodding to himself like he had made a difficult decision.

“Okay Kageyama, let’s visit Asahi-san.”

“Huh?”

Surprised about this unexpected suggestion the setter looked up.

“Why should we do that? We don’t know him aside from the club; it would be totally rude to just show up at his place.”

“Why not?” Hinata disagreed. “You are the one who even doubts that Asahi-san is ill. We could walk by and tell him what coach Ukai said yesterday, then he will certainly come back on his feet quickly and return to training tomorrow.”

“You complete moron,” Kageyama grumbled, rubbing his face. “Didn’t you listen? We’re not supposed to tell Azumane-san so we won’t put unnecessary pressure on him? He’s not as confident as you idiot, okay? If we tell him he can be much better than what he has shown so far, he will be totally disappointed in himself every time he can’t bring it out and probably fear he’ll let us down. In the end he might even lose the will to play volleyball. You don’t want that, do you?”

“No, of course not,” Hinata muttered silently.

“See? I really have to get my homework done and we don’t even know where Azumane-san lives, so it doesn’t make...”

“You want to visit Azumane?”

Both first-years turned around.

While talking they had slowly made it outside of the gym and hadn’t noticed Shimizu following them.

“What a lucky coincidence,” she continued and started digging through her bag, “you mind giving that to him?”

She pulled out a dark blue folder and offered it to Kageyama.

“I asked his classmates about yesterday’s and today’s assignments, because I’m sure Azumane would want to catch up as soon as he gets better. But he will certainly be much happier about you visiting him than just me.”

“I doubt that,” Hinata disagreed behind his hand so that Kiyoko could not hear him.

“Well, the thing is…” Kageyama tried to refuse, but at the same time taking the folder while their manager continued to speak.

“I would really appreciate your help. To be honest, I’m quite worried about our ace and would like to check on him myself, but my study group is about to start, and I would probably be late otherwise.”

Now it was impossible to turn down her request.

Minutes later, the two first-years walked along the path Kiyoko had explained to them. Hinata pushed his bike and looked at the hand-drawn map while Kageyama tried to repeat English vocabulary.

“I didn't even know you were taking studying so seriously nowadays,” Hinata remarked lightly, comparing the manager’s sketch to the road intersection in front of them.

“So what? Do you think I want to miss another day of training camp just because I failed some class?”

“Oh, that’s why.”

In silence, they moved on.

“Why do you actually think Asahi-san isn’t sick?” Hinata asked innocently.

Kageyama shrugged his shoulders and answered just as calmly. “It’s nothing really, just that I don’t think he’s in the best condition one day and so sick he can’t even make it to school the next one, that’s about it.”

“But why would he skip training if he isn’t sick, oh and miss school of course?”   
  
The setter shrugged his shoulders again. “Don’t know. Sugawara-san’s right, it’s not like him to do something that reckless. But...” He fell silent.

“But what?” Hinata asked as they reached the street they were aiming for. Asahi didn’t live as far away from Kageyama as he had expected.

“It’s nothing. I just remembered what Sugawara-san told us before Azumane-san came back.”   
  
“Hmm?”

“That Azumane-san takes everything to heart very quickly.”

“Oh, yes,” Hinata also recalled. “True, Sawamura-san and Nishinoya-san always say that he has a glass heart.”

Kageyama grumbled something in agreement as they reached the Azumane residence. He paused for a moment to observe it while Hinata ran ahead down the gateway.

“But what happens if this glass heart breaks?” He asked himself before he followed the other. Hinata was already ringing the doorbell.

“Just wait for me, you idiot!” Kageyama grumbled, rushing forward, making it just in time to bow while it was opened. Both high schoolers froze on the spot.

“Asahi-san?” Hinata muttered in bewilderment.

It had to be Asahi, if Asahi would wear his hair short and had grown himself a full beard within two days.

“Excuse me?”

Quickly, Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s back of his head and dragged him into a deep bow with him.

“Good evening, I’m Kageyama Tobio and this is Hinata Shoyo. We’re from Karasuno High School. We’re sorry to bother you this late. We’re in the same volleyball club as Asahi-san and wanted to bring him his class assignments from the last two days.”

“Oh, you’re friends with Asahi? Come on in then.”

Much like Asahi, this man seemed significantly more warm-hearted than he looked like at first glance. He had the same warm brown eyes, as brown as his neatly parted hair. However, the button-down shirt with a blue tie along with the full beard and the small worry line on his forehead made it clear that he had to be older than Asahi, even if they resembled each other almost like twins.

“Yes, I remember. Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun; Asahi told me about you, the two first-years with some strange quick or whatever, right?” The stranger laughed gently and even that sounded like Asahi. “Not that I even know what a quick means, my knowledge of volleyball is rudimentary at its best.”

Both players exchanged a silent glance.

At the entrance, they hurriedly took off their shoes and followed the man so alike their ace. They entered an open dining room, to its left leading into a small kitchen and to its right a dark hallway disappearing within the depths of the house.

“I didn’t even know that Asahi-san had a big brother, did you?” Hinata muttered so quietly that only Kageyama could hear him, but before the other could answer, Asahi2.0 continued to talk. 

“Do you want to drink something? Sit down for a moment? Unfortunately I haven’t cooked yet, because my wife won’t come home until later and I’m only back for about half-an hour, but if you want to stay and eat with us…”

“His wife? He's the dad?!” Hinata whispered silently, his face caught between admiration and panic. Kageyama, too, was surprised, but was able to hide it much better.

This warm hospitality was truly unusual and almost disturbed him even more. He just didn’t know how to handle it.

“Thank you very much, but we really don’t want to bother you for that long,” he quickly apologized.

“Oh, of course, I forgot; you probably have practice tomorrow even though it is Saturday, right? You are all very hardworking and ambitious. Asahi is very lucky to have a team like yours.”

Both first-years couldn’t prevent blushing under the praise of Asahi’s father and thanked him with a deep bow.

Hectically Kageyama pulled out the dark blue folder Kiyoko had given him.

“Here is the paperwork for Asahi-san. Do you know how he’s doing? Can he join practice by next week?”

“Sadly I can’t answer that. He’s really not doing well.”

Giving Kageyama a ‘didn’t I tell you, Asahi-san’s sick’ - look Hinata shrugged his shoulders before turning to Asahi’s father again.

“So what got to him? The flu? Some stomach bugs? My mum said there’s something passing around in preschool, so maybe...”

“Hinata!” Kageyama interrupted him about his misplaced curiosity.

“Oh, is fine,” Mr. Azumane waved it off, but his distressed facial expression remained.

“It’s like – how should I put it? - well Asahi is really not feeling well, but it isn’t like he’s...”

“Hey Dad, so yet again Asahi hasn’t… Oh, we have visitors?”

Surprised the three men turned to the hallway, where a young girl – roughly as tall as Hinata – stood, a cloth wrapped around her head and a tray in her hands. Contrary to the men of the household she seemed fragile, almost pale, but her eyes were razor-sharp, and her body posture was easily as confident as Nishinoya’s.

The tray in her hand displayed an apparently untouched breakfast.

“Akemi my dear, you’re awake already? Shouldn’t you rest a bit more?” Her father asked, obviously worried.

But she waved it aside – leaning the tray against her hip – and bowed quickly. Both first-years mirrored her movement while Mr. Azumane introduced them to each other. 

“This is my daughter Akemi and those fine young gentlemen are Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyo. They’re teammates from Asahi’s volleyball team.”

Unlike her father, who had greeted them in such a friendly manner, her face grew reserved.

“Aha,” she scoffed coolly and walked past them into the kitchen.

“I have to apologize for my daughter. She isn’t feeling so...”

“I’m fine, Dad,” she interrupted him from the kitchen and came back, now without a tray but folded her arms. With a dismissive look in her eyes she observed the first-years. “You should be more concerned about Asahi; he hasn’t eaten anything again.”

Hinata and Kageyama shared an uncomfortable glance while Mr. Azumane excused himself to take an incoming call on his mobile phone, leaving them behind with the little sister, who still stared at them in a hostile manner.

“So you guys are playing volleyball with my brother?” She asked, unfazed.

They nodded in sync.

“Let me guess. Tall, black hair, lethargic facial expression, you’re that weirdo prodigy setter who stole Suga-nii’s regular spot, aren’t you?”

“It wasn’t like that!” Kageyama stammered, confused about her accusing words, while Hinata tried to refrain from laughing, not sure what amused him more, Kageyama’s face right now or Sugawara’s nickname.

“And you, tiny, messy orange hair, looking like a kid on a sugar-trip, you’re that crazy decoy who can’t even talk in full sentences, right?”

“Whaaaat?”

Kageyama behind Hinata nodded in agreement, she wasn’t that far off with her description.

“What do you want here?” Even though she was pale, thin, and small, right now she was towering above them, scaring at least one of them.

“We wanted to check on Asahi-san and give him his assignments,” Kageyama answered honestly, raising the folder he was still holding.

She simply lifted an eyebrow and scratched her neck.

“Yeah, you can leave that here and get going. I’m sure Nii-chan doesn’t want to see you guys,” She claimed.

“Why wouldn’t he?” Hinata asked loudly. “After all we’re friends!”

“Sure!” She scoffed.

“You got a problem with us?” Kageyama noted factually, earning him a puzzled look from both Asahi's little sister and Hinata.

For a moment she seemed to think about it before nodding and now scratching her head.

“Well, yeah. After all you’re the reason he’s feeling like shit right now.”

“What the heck are you talking about? Like we did something to Asahi-san!”

Hinata stepped forward but Kageyama grabbed his shoulder, keeping him from attacking the girl.

“Tze!” She folded her arms again. “You can say what you want, but if Nii-chan feels this bad it’s always because of that shitty volleyball club. I was really glad he stopped playing in March but then you weird guys show up and pull him back into this. He should never have come back.”

“What are you even saying?!”   
  
“Lower your voice, Hinata!”

“Why should Asahi-san stop playing volleyball? He loves it! He has a good time playing and he’s damn good at it, that’s why he’s our ace!”

With crushing hostility she stared Hinata down and walked up to him until only a few inches kept their noses apart; a strange, indefinable odor filled the middle-blocker’s nose, which kind of threw him off.

“Yeah, I know he loves it,” she whispered hoarsely, “but the thing is that my dear Nii-chan feels more than your average man, deeper and engulfing and that’s the exact reason why he always takes everything to heart and every single time he’s like he’s right now it’s because of that shitty damn volley...”

“Akemi!”

Mr. Azumane stood in the hallway, phone still in his hand.

“Please stop talking this rudely to our guests, who spent their precious time to check on their teammate.”

Angrily she pouted her cheeks, pushed her way past her father and stumped down the hallway.

“I have to apologize for my daughter again. She isn’t feeling well right now and when her big brother is hurting as well, she struggles even more. Please overlook her bad behavior this once.”

Kageyama and Hinata mumbled something politely and kept their eyes on the ground.

“If you want you can see Asahi now, but I can’t promise you he’ll open up. If he’s not feeling well, he tends to lock himself up, so he doesn’t bother anybody. But you can give it a try, it’s the third door on the left.”

The man looking like his son pointed down the hallway in which his daughter had disappeared just seconds ago.

Both first-years thanked the older man in a deep bow, before Hinata pushed Kageyama ahead of him down the corridor.

“What are you doing?” The setter freed himself from Hinata’s hands as they reached the third door.

“I’m scared that girl will show up again. She’s scary.”

“At least she’s more argumentative than her big brother is,” Kageyama agreed and regarded the door in front of them. A children’s painting of a rising or setting sun stuck against it.   
“Maybe we should...”

“Hey Asahi-san! It’s us,  Hinata and Kageyama, we wanted to check on you and we have some...”

“Not. That. Loud!” Kageyama gnarled and hit the back of Hinata’s head, who was hammering on the door in front of them like a berserk on his rampage.

From the other side of the door they heard not even a single sound and after nothing happened for several seconds Kageyama nodded with a sigh at his classmate, while lifting his forefinger warningly.

Hinata knocked at the door a second time, this time like a civilized human being.

“Hey Asahi-san. It’s us, we have your homework from school. We really don’t want to bother you, but we’re a little bit worried. You’re not feeling well, right?”

But nothing happened and Hinata was about to knock again when Kageyama pushed him aside.

“I really don’t want to be respectless but I promised Shimizu-senpai to not leave before giving you that folder and I have a lot of homework to do, so could you please open the door so we can at least assert that you’re alive?”

His voice was nonchalant as usual and Hinata scolded him for that immediately.

“You can’t just throw something like that against his door if he’s already feeling bad,” he whispered.

“What did I throw against his door?” Kageyama asked, confused. He had just said the truth, so why was that a bad thing?

It was deadly silent, maybe for ten seconds or so, but then they could hear heavy, scuffing footsteps coming closer and closer.

Right in front of the door they paused.

“Somehow I feel like I’m in a horror movie,” Hinata whispered, hiding behind Kageyama, who didn’t look much calmer.

With a silent click the door was unlocked and Hinata gulped heavily while Kageyama too braced himself for what was coming.

The door opened a few inches and both first-years gasped for air.

“Asahi-san?” Hinata whispered in disbelief.

The broad shouldered, muscular young man appeared scrawny and meager. His usual soft eyes were dull and sunken in; at the same time they were swollen and a small blood vessel in his left eye had popped. His tousled and tangled hair fell almost down to his shoulders but failed to hide his pale, emaciated face. The missing light made his skin appear grayish and his lips were cracked.

He was staring down, averting his head halfway from them.

“You look terrible,” Hinata noted loudly, making the third-year wince slightly. “So you’re not coming to practice tomorrow, right?”

This naive question made Kageyama roll his eyes.

“Of course not, you see how shitty he looks.”

Asahi didn’t reply at all.

“But at least you’re alive,” Kageyama grumbled – while Hinata stared at him in utter disbelief – and offered the file to the third-year.

After a moment Asahi took it.

“Thanks.”

His voice sounded just as broken and hoarse as he looked.

“Hey Asahi-san,” Hinata mumbled with a gentle smile, “rest a little bit over the weekend and get well soon so we can practice together, alright?”

Finally their ace looked up, his swollen, dull eyes sparkling for half a second, but then that light was gone and they were even darker than before and his lips started quivering.   
  
“Hinata don’t push him too much.” Kageyama pulled his classmate aside and looked seriously at Asahi. “I hope you’ll get better soon, Azumane-san.”

He swiftly bowed before nodding at Hinata.

“Let’s go, I got to do my homework.”

Sighing deeply and rolling his eyes Hinata nodded between waving at Asahi with a bright smile.

“Okay, take care of yourself and see you soon, okay?”

Still waving Hinata walked down the hallway and Kageyama followed him, but then he paused as Asahi wanted to close the door.

“Azumane-san, what do you think is your greatest weakness?”

Confused, Hinata paused as well and watched how his setter turned towards their ace, staring at him directly.

“You think it’s your technique or your speed or maybe your receives?” Kageyama sounded cold, almost dismissive, certainly way too pushy to be talking to a senior in his own house, nonetheless. “Might be that none of those are perfect just yet, but they aren’t your weakness. Quite the opposite, you have all the physical advantages and the talent needed to become one of the great players. Coach Ukai even said yesterday that you have the potential to  _ redefine the requirements of an ace _ . But...”

“Kageyama!” Hinata called out, but Kageyama continued without even batting an eye at his classmate and pointing a finger directly at Asahi. “But you’re the one blocking your own way. You are your greatest weakness. Coach Ukai ordered us not to tell you the truth so you wouldn’t be stressed out, but I disagree.”

Kageyama was still staring directly at Asahi and didn’t even worry about the enraged Hinata.

“Maybe it’s cocky if I as a first-year tell you that, but I don’t really care if you play volleyball at all or not, if you’re willing to give it your all or not. But after what I saw what you’re capable of on Wednesday, I won’t be part of that scheme just to offer you an excuse so that you don’t even have to try. So that you don’t even give your possibilities a second thought.”

Kageyama sounded merciless, not even trying to smoothen his opinion.

“I wanna make it into Japan’s national volleyball team and I’ve got the talent and the ambition to reach that goal. I don’t care what you do with your talent, Azumane-san, but it would piss me off to throw so much potential away. Not everyone has our physical advantages.” Now he nodded at Hinata. “Still the other ones try their best to reach their goal while you’re hiding here in your room. That really pisses me off!”

“Kageyama,” Hinata muttered again, but much weaker this time, while Asahi stared at the setter with huge eyes, not able to do or say anything.

“I have no idea what you’re going through,” Kageyama explained and folded his arms, “but now that you know what kind of potential you have, are you really satisfied with knowing that your volleyball career will end with this school year?”

Kageyama turned around and walked away. As he reached Hinata he stopped again.

“I at least know that it wouldn’t be enough for me, but I’m not you and I can’t take that decision from you.” 

For a moment they were deadly silent.

“However, I would set the ball for you at any time as long as you just call for it, maybe one day even in the national team’s uniform.”

Then Kageyama grabbed Hinata and dragged him along, not even saying goodbye to Mr. Azumane, who was cooking in the kitchen, leaving Asahi behind. Back on the street he finally let go.

“What the heck did you do, Kageyama?!” Hinata yelled and pulled up all of his 164,2 centimeters in front of his setter. “Didn’t you tell me that we shouldn’t talk with Asahi-san about that?! Coach Ukai forbade it so we wouldn’t pressure him too much and then you did it anyway. If Asahi-san isn’t coming back now it’s your fault.”

“No,” Kageyama disagreed and walked off.

“What do you mean by  _ No _ ?!”

Hinata grabbed his bike and followed the setter.

“I mean it didn’t make any difference whether I’d told him or not. But now at least he knows all the facts and can make a serious decision upon that.”

Confused, Hinata walked beside Kageyama.

“What are you talking about? Why doesn’t it make any difference anymore? What kind of decision?”

But Kageyama just kept going, the gaze stubbornly directed straight ahead.

“Broken is broken,” he finally muttered, not even noticing how Hinata stared at him with big eyes.

“What? What are you talking about?”

Once again, Kageyama remained silent; now at least he knew the answer to his question, now he knew what happened when the glass heart broke. Nothing remained, nothing but broken pieces.   
  


  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with the next chapter.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it and thank you guys for the lovely comments and kudos.  
> Because I'm having exams the upcoming weeks, I'm not sure I can make the update next week, but I'll try my best.
> 
> Have a great weekend ;-)
> 
> Sharry

Chapter 4

 

Yawning loudly Sugawara rubbed his face with both hands. He liked Saturday’s training, it wasn’t as early as during the week and because coach Ukai had to work until later, they usually spent the first hours in a much lighter mood – which was mainly due to the energetic members of their team – but since almost all of Sugawara’s free time was occupied by studying and study group meetings he was barely able to keep up with his schedule.   
  
He wasn’t sure if he was looking forward to all this stress being over, after all then he would also… NO! He wouldn’t brood about that, not right now. Shaking his head, he turned around a corner and finally the gym came into sight.

It didn’t surprise him to be first, after all he was ten minutes too early, but while he was unlocking the gym, he could already hear the familiar steps of his captain, who was also yawning like he’d spent the last night studying.

“Did you hear?” Daichi asked directly after a short greeting. “Apparently Shimizu sent Hinata and Kageyama to Asahi’s yesterday.”

Raising an eyebrow Sugawara turned to Daichi, but before he could even ask anything a well-known roaring told them that Hinata and Kageyama were also close, racing for the gym like almost every day.

“Stop yelling like that this early in the morning, I’m getting a headache!” It seemed like Tanaka wasn’t that far away either.

Sharing a slightly concerned glance both third-years walked inside, it was always smart to be at a safe distance from the entrance when their odd first-year-combi tried to beat each other in reaching the gym first.

“Poor Asahi, he certainly would have been more pleased about Shimizu visiting him than our power couple,” Sugawara laughed, though he didn’t feel like joking at all. 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I said, too,” Hinata called from the door, where he and Kageyama entered; who of them had won the third-years couldn’t tell, not that they cared.

From outside the voices of Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Narita greeting each other wafted inside.

“How was it?” Daichi asked seriously. “Is Asahi feeling better? Will he come back today, or Monday?”

Surprisingly the usually loud Hinata was having difficulties finding his voice.

“Well,” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers while averting his eyes and searching for help turning to his setter, “it’s more like...”

“I was right. Azumane-san isn’t sick.”

Obviously Kageyama’s priority here was on the part where he had been right.

“What?” Hinata yelled in confusion. “Have you seen another Asahi-san than I did? As awful as he looked, I was about to call an ambulance and you sa... "

“I’m not saying he’s not feeling like crap, it’s just he isn’t sick. He has no virus, infection, no flue, not even fever. Whatever is bugging him, it’s not of physical nature.”

Kageyama still sounded so matter-of-factly that he was testing the others’ patience.

“And when did you become a nurse?” Hinata grumbled only to dodge Kageyama’s angry fist.

“Talking about Asahi-san?” The second-years approached them and Ennoshita – quick witted as always – had already grasped what their topic was about.

“What do you mean by that?” Sugawara asked Kageyama, growing worried while Hinata greeted the newcomers. “Why is he feeling like crap if he isn’t sick? What did he say? When will he come back?”

Kageyama shook his head.

“No, he didn’t say much, but from what I saw yesterday I actually doubt he will ever return to the club.”

It was like a hit right into the face.

Sugawara and Nishinoya gasped for air like they had actually been kicked into the guts. Tanaka was already raging towards Kageyama, barely controlled by Kinoshita and Narita.

Hinata lowered his head helplessly and bit his lower lip. He’d already had the same discussion with Kageyama yesterday and although he couldn’t really grasp how the other one had come to this conclusion; he couldn’t deny that the words of Asahi’s little sister were sill haunting him.

_ He should have never come back. _

But those words weren’t as haunting as those lifeless eyes of the man he admired.

The present members barely noted how more of their teammates arrived and listened to their conversation.

“Kageyama.” Daichi sounded like he was fighting for air - or patience. “What makes you think that? Why shouldn’t Asahi come back?”

The setter shrugged his shoulders.

“I don't really know what the reason is, but he seemed different than in the beginning of the school year. It's probably no longer a matter of just running away from his fears or simply missing self-confidence.”

“Don’t say it so dismissively,” Sugawara grumbled, obviously fighting his tears with shaking fists.

“I don’t mean it dismissively, I’m just trying to find the right words,” Kageyama explained apologetically. “Back then, he was facing problems we were all aware off, problems we could work on, that we could handle as a team.”

“And you think it’s not the case this time?” Daichi asked, almost matter-of-factly if it wasn’t for his short breath.

Again, Kageyama shook his head.

“Whatever the trigger, Azumane-san is broken, and I have no idea how to fix a broken spirit.”

No one said a word as they realized the true the meaning behind Kageyama’s statement; some of them were shaking their heads in denial, some watched it like spectators who weren’t concerned about the outcome, and others whispered soundless words to nobody in particular.

“But wait a sec,” Tanaka tried with a weak attempt to build up the mood, “we don't even know if that’s true, do we? Asahi-san hasn’t said anything about it yet, all we have is Kageyama's word and... “

“Daichi!!!“

Like a rolling thunder Nishinoya shouted and interrupted Tanaka, stomping forward with a face filled with anger and pain, pushing Kageyama and Hinata aside effortlessly. 

“If this coward doesn’t come back, I’m out, you got that?!”

“Noya-san…” Tanaka whispered.

“Hey,” Sugawara tried to break the tension after no one said anything for several seconds, “now is not the time for something like that, Nishinoya. Let us wait before we make hasty decisions. If you still …”

“Stop it, Suga-san! This asshole doesn’t have the right to wimp out on me after Wednesday!”

Their libero was shaking in pure anger.

“That time against Date Tech I could kind of understand it, okay, but why the fuck now? Asahi-san has no reason to – how did you call it? -  _ break _ ! He put on his A game on Wednesday, he was at his best and was even able to build me back up again after I had been through a hell of a day and was so ready to give it up.  _ I _ was the one thinking about throwing the towel!”

Nishinoya’s anger and his all too honest words broke the tension, leaving them in defeat.

“And now he’s the one who doesn’t want to continue?! Who’s broken and hiding in his room like a sulking dog?! He either wants to play volleyball or he doesn’t, but what he’s doing right now I won’t… I can’t… I don’t want to...”

“Just wait a moment!” Sugawara interrupted Nishinoya, who wasn’t even able to phrase what he was feeling anymore. The third-year turned towards Kageyama.

“Kageyama, you said you have no clue why Asahi is in this bad position, so why do you think it has anything to do with volleyball? Maybe he has some other issues in his life. The world doesn’t revolve around our team after all; there are certainly more important things in his life to worry about. Also, he had an awesome time on Wednesday so why should he stop wanting to play volleyball now out of all times?”

“ _ If Nii-chan feels this bad it’s always because of that shitty volleyball club. _ ”

Everyone present stared at Hinata, who had muttered those words towards the ground.

“That’s what his sister said yesterday. She said she’d wish he would never return to the club.”

“Akemi-chan said something like that?” Nishinoya turned around in shock. “Why would she say that? She knows how much Asahi loves to play volleyball.”   
  
Hinata shrugged his shoulders slightly; he didn’t want any of this. He didn’t want their team to tear apart, didn’t want Asahi to feel bad, didn’t want Nishinoya to threaten them with leaving, didn’t want Sugawara being close to tears and Daichi looking like he wanted to break down as well. He didn’t want them to fight each other, he wanted to fight with them, growing stronger with each other.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes, “but she was really sure that he is the way he is right now because of us.”

He gulped heavily.

“I don’t want to believe myself that Asahi-san won’t return but after I saw him yesterday, I don’t know anymore. No matter what we’ve said he didn’t smile once or talk. I mean if Kageyama would tell me that he was ready to set up the ball for me in the national team, I would jump till I reach the top of this roof, but not even then did Asahi-san...”

“What did you tell him?!”

Daichi interrupted Hinata and took a step towards Kageyama. It was truly impressive how innocent the youngest team member could look at the captain, because even the bravest of those present got scared of Daichi’s gaze.

“I just repeated what the coach told us. I wanted Azumane-san to know what potential he was putting on the line.”

“Why the hell did you do that?!”

Daichi grabbed Kageyama by the collar.

Sugawara slammed a hand against his own mouth.

The other team members winced as their captain crashed Kageyama against the wall right next to the door.

“Is that why you think he won’t come back?! Why did you even tell him in the first place then?! We all know that Asahi easily crumbles under pressure and when you throw something like that right in his face, if he’s already feeling down... "

“It didn’t make a difference anymore.”

Daichi got his words stuck in his throat when Kageyama answered him so naively and didn’t even try to fight back.

“What do you mean by that?” Daichi asked breathlessly.

“Coach Ukai didn’t want us to put unnecessary pressure on Azumane-san so he could have fun playing volleyball and not get even more anxious than usual. But from what I saw yesterday, there was nothing left in need of protection anymore. Whatever happened, it broke him and so it was irrelevant whether I would withhold the truth from him or not.”

Taking a deep breath, Daichi took a step back while Kageyama shrugged his shoulders.

“One way or another, if nothing is left, there is nothing to be threatened by the truth, so I risked telling him. I actually hoped it would give him some courage, but I was wrong. Like I said, when the glass heart breaks, nothing remains but pieces and shards.”

A heavy silence filled the gym while all players stared at the ground.

Nothing could destroy the team’s spirit as easily as when the team’s ace broke and they could all feel it, their team was about to break as well. Nishinoya had already announced to leave the club should Asahi not return and after what Kageyama had just said it seemed impossible he would.

Some of them crumbled under that loss, especially Daichi and Sugawara felt lost and heart-broken while Hinata couldn’t hinder his tears. Even those of them, who didn’t knew Asahi that well, could feel the pain of their breaking fighting spirit.

If their ace wouldn’t come back, how could they make it to Nationals? How could they fill that gaping hole? Had all the effort, all the straining moments, the beautiful and the hard hours of the last few months suddenly become unimportant?

Could it be that the loss of a single team member could destroy everything?

“Just because of a heart of glass,” Daichi whispered, feeling his eyes burning.

At that moment, the doors of the gym opened.

“Hello everyone. Good, looks like you’re all here already. I got off early today so we could… What the hell is going on?”

Coach Ukai stood in the door frame and could almost smell the hopeless heaviness floating towards him, sucking out any oxygen in its path.

Some of them flinched when he slammed the door closed, but nobody really reacted to him.

“Sawamura, what is ...?”

He forgot what he wanted to say when the team’s captain turned to him and he saw the glassy eyes and the wavering lips.

Ukai took a second to glance around and noted that not only the captain who was close to the door was almost in tears. Daichi and Kageyama stood a little bit apart from the others and the young setter seemed beaten down as well.

“Of course!”

Suddenly, a ray of light divided the sea of misery as Sugawara straightened up and looked around. He, too, had obviously been crying.

“A heart of glass!” He shouted to his fellow players as if it was the obvious solution, but no one reacted and Ukai understood less and less what was going on. Sometimes he wondered what kind of drama show Mr. Takeda had stuck him in.

“You!” Sugawara grabbed the desperately mourning libero. “You’re coming with me now!”

One or two looked up in confusion; Sugawara’s sudden energy seemed to rattle them.

But the setter didn’t care as he pulled Nishinoya along to their changing room.

“Daichi!” He yelled at his captain while charging by. “He’s got a glass heart; don’t you get it?!”

Then he slammed the door shut behind Nishinoya and himself.

The captain stared at the changing room with wide eyes, before  his dark face slowly lit up.

“So it’s not over just yet?” He whispered.

“Okay!” Ukai clapped his hands loudly. “I have no clue what’s going on but I didn’t get off early so you can act like somebody just died. ...nobody actually did die, right?” He asked Sawamura, who swiftly shook his head.

“Good, so whatever is wrong, we can deal with it. You’ve seen that Sugawara hasn’t given up, so don’t you give up just yet either.”

His words didn’t have much effect.

“Alright. I want you to go running to clear your head. The usual round, up the hill. Those of you who get it done in less than thirty minutes can chose a free samosa after training.”

At least Tanaka came back to life due to the possibility of free food.

“Less than half an hour?” He roared unenthusiastically. “I’ve only managed that twice and I run the track almost every day!”

“Well then I guess today would be the perfect day to make it a third time. Come one, go out and run some of that worry off and when you get back, your problem will be taken care of.”

Most of them still didn’t seem convinced but at least they were moving slowly towards the door.

“Sawamura,” he called for the captain, “you’ll stay and tell me what the hell is going on.”

  
*****

 

“Sit down,” Sugawara ordered after closing the door.

“But Suga-san, what the...”

“I said  _ sit down _ .”

Nishinoya obeyed and settled on one of the folding chairs.

It wasn’t like he really wanted to sit down, but right now Sugawara almost scared him. Sugawara didn’t have Asahi’s tough look or Daichi’s intimidating presence, yet Nishinoya couldn’t hinder to feel awed.

Still, Sugawara could look dangerously all he wanted, Nishinoya had not interest in listening to him for even a second. He wanted to punch something, scream at somebody, he was angry. But the setter stayed silent, folding his arms and looking like he had just developed a dangerous tactic to bring down an enemy.

“Suga-san, what’s going on?” Nishinoya growled after he couldn’t take the silence any longer. He really couldn’t care less about this right now; he was mad. Asahi was the team’s ace –  _ his _ ace – and Nishinoya would never forgive him if he just gave up this title, gave up what he loved to do, not even fighting for it.

He knew he was selfish, but to be on the court without Asahi... winning Nationals without Asahi, that was out of the question for him. He just didn’t want that; he couldn’t do that anymore.

Sugawara’s deep sigh made him pay attention as the third-year also settled down on a chair.

“You know,” Sugawara mused, without looking at Nishinoya, “even if I didn’t want to admit it, just like Kageyama I kind of doubted that Asahi was sick right from the beginning. I had this uneasy feeling all along that something was wrong with him again, but I didn’t know what it was.”

Again, Sugawara sighed and this time he looked considerably older than before.

“At first I thought it had something to do with our club, with the practice match; but even after Date Tech, even after he completely lost his fighting spirit he still came to school and was in a good mood, I think. Additionally the practice match went really well for him so it couldn’t have been that. It couldn’t be because of volleyball, it had to be something aside from that, maybe something had happened at home, something we just didn’t knew.”

Now Sugawara folded his arms and looked at Nishinoya.

“But then I remembered what Kageyama told us and what Hinata said about Akemi-chan and I realized that it must have something to do with us. But I couldn’t figure out what could be worse for an ace than being completely blocked during an official game? What could be so horrible he couldn’t even make it to school anymore? What could be so devastating that his parents actually called him in sick, that he wouldn’t even leave his home anymore?”

For a second, Sugawara remained silent, but Nishinoya had no clue why the hell he was telling him all of this. Nishinoya had no idea what was going on, but to be honest he didn’t care for Sugawara’s trail of thoughts.

“So at first I really didn’t grasp what could have happened, because Asahi is so dutiful and would never risk his grades and future because of some simple issues within our club, and he wouldn’t want to worry his family by neglecting school because of some hobby. But then I thought about Kageyama, the king of the court, remember? His biggest fear was that his teammates wouldn’t jump for his ball, that they would disobey. When he became part of our team he was scared to be abandoned by the other players, that they were even distrusting him. Still, he wanted to play; it affected him, but it wasn’t enough to make him stop playing.”

Sugawara looked directly at Nishinoya now, but he didn’t follow. Yes he had heard about all that crap, although he had been suspended at the time and didn’t come back until later. But what the hell had the king of the court to do with their coward of an ace?

“And then I realized that Asahi is not like Kageyama; would he continue to play in a situation like that and impose himself on the team, so to speak? Quite honestly, no, I even believe that unlike Kageyama, Asahi would completely break under such a notion. What could be worse for an ace than to disappoint his fellow players? Clearly, nothing is worse than being left behind by your own team members. Be it as a setter who doesn’t set the ball for a spiker or be it as an attacker who doesn’t jump for the setter’s ball. Nothing is worse than that horrible feeling to be useless to the team, to even be a burden to the other ones, or am I wrong, Nishinoya? This horrible feeling that the other ones have surely noted that one has lost his own worth for the team?”

The libero gulped heavily; this had been his exact feeling on Wednesday, that he had been nothing more than a damn burden to his friends, because he had failed at his one task, failed at being the defense deity.

“So Nishinoya,” Sugawara mumbled and leaned forward, “the last time I saw Asahi, he was overflowing with self-confidence and sense of victory and we all know how unusual that is for him. Afterwards he was talking to you and since then he hasn’t shown up in school. So, what did you tell him?”

Nishinoya forgot to breathe, shook his head and threw both hands into the air.

“What the fuck, Suga-san?! You really believe I’m the reason this coward hides in his room? I told you it was a good conversation, Asahi-san really impressed me and...”

“Right, you told me Asahi had found good words to talk to you and that he really pushed you back on your feet. But I’m asking you about your part in that conversation. What did you say? Because you were the last one of us to see Asahi on his confidence trip last Wednesday.”

Yes, it was justified to be scared of Daichi when he grew angry, but even he couldn’t compare to the Sugawara currently in front of him.

Nishinoya only noticed that he had been leaning away when his back hit the back of the chair.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He grumbled defensively and folded his arms. “Like I would say anything for Asahi-san to...”

"What did you say, Nishinoya?"

He could barely bear the intense glare and lowered his head.

“Well, I… I have no clue what the hell you’re talking about, Suga-san. Sure, I was a little bit irritated because of the match and maybe I was a little bit rough in choosing my words, but I would never...”   
  
“Nishinoya, just tell me what you told Asahi.”

“No idea. It all happened so fast and I didn’t really say much, so...”

The libero shrugged his shoulders and tried to avoid Sugawara’s eyes. The latter stayed quiet for several seconds while Nishinoya tried to rub the tension in his neck away, looking from one corner to another.

“So actually I only told him what I told you. I was frustrated because I - libero, master of defense - fucked up so badly that I even had to be supported by the offense players. I don’t want a spiker to have to receive a ball because of me and lose the opportunity to score a point just because I sucked at my duty.”

Sugawara nodded in agreement.

“I feel you,” he mumbled. Sugawara also wanted to avoid at all cost that a spiker was blocked because he didn’t make a good set.

Maybe he had been wrong, maybe Asahi's current condition had nothing to do with...

“But it might be that the way I said it to him is the problem.”

Nishinoya looked up and glanced insecurely at Sugawara.

“I don’t remember the exact words, no matter how hard I try, but it might be that I said something like I don’t want him to defend for me and that I don’t need his help.”

“Oh.”

“I think I might have even told him that I don’t need  _ him _ .”

The libero seemed more shocked about those words than the setter. The corner of his mouth started twitching and he bit his lower lip.

“Do you… do you think Sugawara-san, that he took it seriously? Do you think Asahi-san really thinks that I don’t need him now? That I don’t want him on the court with me?”

Nishinoya started shaking.

“You think Asahi-san actually believes that I hate him now? You think he  _ broke _ because of me?”

For a moment Sugawara regarded the younger one in silence. He was angry, furious actually, but he also felt sorry for him. He understood what Nishinoya had done, maybe even why, and he could imagine what the libero was going through right now.

He nodded with a sigh.

“If one of my team members would tell me that he had no use for me on the court, uff, that would be tough on me, especially if it were Daichi or Asahi.”

Nishinoya bowed forward in his seat, covering his mouth with a hand. 

“I guess those words would hurt anybody, though everybody would deal with it quite differently. I think if you would have said something like that to Daichi or me on Wednesday, we would have needed a few minutes to realize that you probably didn’t mean it like that but were just frustrated by the game.”

He scratched his cheek.

“If somebody else would had said something like that to Asahi, I guess he would have been hurt, maybe even desperate, but I don’t think he would have stopped coming to the club. But I think...”

Sugawara interrupted himself watching the libero, who looked like he was about to cry.

“Asahi thinks the world of you; you’re able to reach him even when our words cannot anymore. You’re really important to him. I believe, although you certainly said your words out of anger and frustration, that Asahi still took them to heart. Yes, I think Asahi actually believes that you meant every word just the way you said it.”

Nishinoya gulped heavily.

“Sometimes we forget that our ace takes even stupid jokes seriously and crumbles from the weight over time. Especially those of us important to him must be very careful in choosing our words, even if that’s difficult for us sometimes. It’s not always easy when a friend of yours has such a delicate heart.”

“But what am I supposed to do now?!”

Nishinoya jumped up and stared at Sugawara desperately.   
  
“I don’t want Asahi-san to stop playing! I don’t want him to hate me or to quit the club just because of me! I want him with me on the court. I can’t play in a team he had given up on. I do need him. Every time he calls for a ball or guards my back, I remember how strong we all are. Thanks to all of you I’m allowed to make mistakes and he was the one who taught me that! How could I ever hate him?! How can I go back on the court when I pushed him away?”

By now Nishinoya started crying after all; rivers of tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I don’t want Asahi-san to be miserable because of me. What am I supposed to do? How could I ever forgive myself if I broke him?”

“But Nishinoya.” Sugawara smiled gently, although a thousand needles pierced the corners of his eyes. “I can’t tell you the answers to any of this. You need to talk with him about it, not with me. You need to go to Asahi.”

Surprised, the libero took a step back.

“You know, we’re all aware that Asahi has a glass heart and Kageyama assumes that it’s broken and he’s probably right; it’s almost impossible to repair shards. But you know, I wonder what was hidden within that glass heart. Maybe it had to break one way or another so he can keep growing; so his true diamond can shine.”

With huge eyes Nishinoya stared at Sugawara while his tears ran dry and then – oh so slowly – he nodded before rushing out of the changing room, straight through the gym and was gone.

Grinning widely Sugawara followed him out of the changing room.

“What happened?”

Next to the sideline stood coach Ukai and Daichi, who had been talking with each other in serious voices up until now.

“Where the hell did Nishinoya run to?” The trainer asked. “And why do you look so happy? Didn’t we just lose our ace?”

“Not yet,” Sugawara whispered from the bottom of his soul. “We haven’t lost Asahi yet, his glass heart just broke.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

Nishinoya ran like every second counted, almost a matter of life and death. Somehow he felt like it was the end of the world.

_ You don’t get it. _

No, he had been the idiot who didn’t get anything. Nishinoya had been the idiot who didn’t listen to Asahi’s words. He had been the idiot who had preferred to lash out instead of taking half a second to listen.

_ I don’t want you to defend for me! _

Nishinoya had been hurt, that’s why he had spoken the way he did, only because his pride had been hurt. For a moment - just a short moment - Nishinoya had ignored how sensitive Asahi could be and had simply taken his frustration out on him, damn the consequences.

_ I don’t want you to guard me! _

That wasn’t true; those words hadn’t been Nishinoya’s, just hurt pride using his mouth.

Of course he wanted Asahi to guard his back. There was nobody else Nishinoya would prefer behind him and nobody else he preferred in front of him.

How could Asahi believe those words even for a second?

_ I don’t need your help!  _

He had been such an idiot!

Sugawara was totally right. For somebody like Asahi those words must have felt like a shot straight to the heart.

Just for a moment Nishinoya wondered what he would feel if Asahi had said something like that to him - yelling it right in his face - but he couldn’t bear that thought for even a second.

He understood now why Asahi wasn’t coming to school.

Because of him.

Asahi was avoiding him.

_ I don't need you! _

Nishinoya stopped.

What could he say after that?

He was scared.

How should he face Asahi after throwing something like this in his face?

Even if he found the courage and the right words, would he be able to withstand Asahi's response?

Sugawara had told him that he simply had to talk to Asahi.

But what if that wasn't enough? What if neither words nor deeds could make amends for what had happened? What if he had destroyed something way beyond repair?

_ What if Asahi-san hates me now? _

“Yū-nii? What are you doing here?”

He spun around. Asahi’s little sister Akemi, wrapped in a scarf, head cloth, and a bulky winter coat, walked towards him, a grocery bag in each hand.

He lacked the words to answer her, while his last grim thoughts still waded through his brain.

Nishinoya only realized that she was talking to him when she stood right in front of him and he had to look up at her. How was it possible that she was already taller than him with her barely fourteen years? When the hell had she grown up?

Damn Azumane genes.

She smiled warm-heartedly and despite her pale features she was the picture of beauty and strength, making Nishinoya blush slightly, before her face became serious again.

“Are you on your way to visit my brother?”

He swallowed heavily and eventually nodded.

Tilting her head she raised an eyebrow.

“Come along then.”

Wordlessly he walked next to her, not knowing what to say until he noticed something.

“Say Akemi-chan, why are you even here? I thought on Saturday you have to...”   
  
“I went on Thursday this week; dad has to travel this weekend because of work and this way mom could go with him,” she interrupted him with such ease that he started to feel lighter as well, “and as you know on Saturdays Nii-chan usually cooks after practice, but with how he is right now I thought it would be a nice idea if I took care of it today.”

“You really are the big sister in this family, right?” He even managed to smile.

“Oh, you’re right about that. You wanna eat with us? I bought enough to feed your whole team.”

Damn she hit that right where it hurt the most. Did she notice that? Did she do it on purpose?

“May I take one of those?” Nishinoya asked instead of answering.

With a smile she gave him one of her grocery bags and together they continued on their way.

They were chatting about this and that. How Nishinoya’s grandfather was doing, about annoyin parents, and how school was going. But Nishinoya avoided any topic that could become uncomfortable.

“Tell me,” Akemi mumbled as they reached the house, “why did those strange guys show up here yesterday? I think Nii-chan would have been happier if it had been you?”

He didn’t reply and she didn’t question him further, instead kicking off her shoes while running inside as Nishinoya put on guest slippers.

“Nii-chan, oh Nii-chan, quit hiding in your hole and come out. Yū-nii has come over.”

Nishinoya entered the dining room. It wasn’t his first time visiting. After he had failed in his very first exams as a first-year, Asahi had been kind enough to help him study. Well actually Nishinoya had asked him over and over again, until Asahi hadn’t been able to brush him off anymore. It was also around that time that Nishinoya’s grandfather had spent a few nights in the hospital and it was only thanks to Asahi and his kind parents that he’d  had somewhere to run during those dark hours.

“He won’t come, especially not knowing that I’m here,” Nishinoya mumbled regretfully and helped Akemi putting the groceries away.

She gave him a dismissive glance, almost as sharp as her mother.

“So it was you.” No question, just a statement. 

He bit his lower lip and nodded, lowering his head in defeat.

Suddenly her small hand slid into his field of vision and she held out a key.

“Then fix it.”

He looked up in surprise, prepared for her judgement.

“If you broke it, you have to fix it. Because of you my Nii-chan is in this miserable state and if you don’t get this right, I will never forgive you, got it?”

Nishinoya could barely withstand her gaze.

“I won’t let my brother break because of something he loves so much. So you better fix it!”

He took the key hesitantly and nodded, although he had no idea how to fix it.

But he couldn’t tell Asahi’s little sister. Unlike the soft-hearted ace, Akemi could be loud and even though Nishinoya loved to banter with her, right now he wouldn’t be able to stomach it.

So he nodded in defeat and got ready to face his self-made doom.

Why did the way feel longer than usual?

With his heart pounding loudly he stopped in front of Asahi’s room.

It didn't matter what he was thinking or feeling, he couldn't run away.

He took a deep breath and then knocked.

Nothing happened.

Of course it didn’t, Asahi didn’t want to see him; not after what Nishinoya had said, not after he had not only crumbled Asahi’s momentum but hurt him so deeply.

He knocked again.

“Asahi-san,” he mumbled so silently the other one probably couldn’t even hear him, while pressing his forehead against the door. “Just open up. Your sister gave me the key to your room, so I will come in one way or another. Please just open up.”

The continuing silence irked him. 

Yes of course he was the one who had messed up and yes he was the one who had to apologize, but damn it, Asahi could at least give him a sign that he was listening!

“Okay, you asked for it,” he grumbled and stuffed the key in the keyhole. However, the door wasn’t even locked, so he nodded to himself and pushed it open.

 

Taking a deep breath Nishinoya entered.

A dark room greeted him, as always looking all tidied up except for the messy bed, but Asahi wasn’t there.

“Nishi...noya?”

He spun around.

The bathroom door across the hallway had opened and Asahi stood in the doorway.

But Nishinoya barely recognized him.

He had seen Asahi during bad moments, had seen him in really shitty times, but right now he had no words to describe what he saw.

Neither Kageyama nor Hinata could have prepared him for what he was facing, but he had to admit that  _ broken _ was the closest way to describe it.

"Hey," Nishinoya muttered breathlessly, already scolding himself for such a weak greeting.

Who was he to chicken out?

No, he was willing to learn a lot from Asahi, but certainly not how to run away.

Almost unnoticed, Asahi slid back into the bathroom and was about to pull the door close.

“Hold it right there!” Nishinoya barked and grabbed the door with both hands. He needed all his strength to keep Asahi from closing it. “Wait Asahi-san!”

The third-year let go of the doorknob, causing Nishinoya to fly across the hallway as the door ripped open again. Asahi retreated into the windowless bathroom, but that was his mistake, because now he had nowhere to run.

“Stop running away from me!” Nishinoya yelled at Asahi, who was looking like he was seriously considering hiding in the bathtub.

“If you don’t give me at least a second, I won’t even be able to apologize to you!”

Nishinoya’s heart pounded so fast he was afraid it would burst out of his chest, but suddenly that was the only fear he felt. He knew he had to apologize. If his words were enough to turn Asahi into this being right in front of him, they had to be able to build him up again too. Nishinoya had to be able to make it happen. More so he wasn’t allowed to fail, he simply couldn’t.

He knew he couldn’t change how Asahi would react to his words, but Nishinoya had the choice – the damn right – to at least say what he was thinking and feeling and Asahi would have to listen, no matter if he wanted to or not!

“What the hell is going on with you not showing up for practice?!” He yelled and stepped towards Asahi. “How do you dare skipping school just because of some… just because of what I… just because of me?!”

Well, this wasn’t as simple as Nishinoya had initially thought.

This wasn’t his first fight with the third-year, more often than not he had bumped his own head against Asahi’s, but right now it was different.

He wasn’t only mad at Asahi, he was mad at himself, and he knew he had to apologize somehow, but why were a few of his words filled with anger enough to make Asahi crumble? Why could Asahi not…

“Just say something!” He demanded as his own thoughts overmanned him.

But Asahi remained silent. Nishinoya could see how he trembled although his face was hidden in the shadows of his hair. Despite his height Asahi seemed incredibly small and weak right now. He was probably even scared, scared of Nishinoya’s next words.   
  
Goddammit! Nishinoya really wasn’t good at this.

He bit the inside of his cheek and took a step back.

“No, what I wanted to say… what I actually meant is… I’m sorry Asahi-san.”

He could feel his eyes tearing up as he bowed so deeply that he almost fell out of his slippers.

“What I told you Wednesday was wrong. I was angry, furious, and deeply disappointed in myself and I took it out on you. I said stuff I knew would hurt you and I didn’t care about your feelings at that moment.”   
  
He became hectic.

“Please believe that I never meant to say those words! There is no greater joy for me than being on the court with you. I can only be brave because I know my team is there - because you are there. Without you I can’t keep playing anymore, because I need that you believe in me, Asahi. I need that you give me strength when I doubt myself and I need that you pull me back to earth when I’m high up in the clouds. I need you, Asahi!”

He couldn't stop the tears.    
  
“I said things I never wanted to say, Asahi, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me. But I beg you, please come back to school, come back to practice. I don’t want you to stop doing what you love because of me. I don’t want you hiding in your room all day long. If it’s because of me...” He took a deep breath and watched his blurred tears dripping down on the cold tiles. “If you can’t come back because of me then… then I will disappear. I will never show up in the third-year’s hallway again. I’ll leave the club, if I must. I prefer saying goodbye to volleyball for good rather than you quitting it.”

His voice broke.

“Please Asahi, I'm sorry, so please don’t stop doing the things you love, please don’t stop playing volleyball - not because of my thoughtless words, not because of me. I will do anything you ask of me, but please be happy again, please come back to practice - the team needs you.”

_ I need you! _

He cried. His tears streamed down hopelessly and Nishinoya realized now how much he had missed the other. Since Asahi had returned to the club at the beginning of the school year, he had seen him almost every day. Even on the few Sundays when they didn’t practice, they had trained together or spent time with each other doing other things - it had taken weeks to convince Asahi to go watch that new Hollywood action movie, but it had been worth it.

He realized how worried he had been during the last two days. Realized how often his thoughts had been circling around Asahi and how he had pushed aside any idea about why his ace hadn’t come to school.

Nishinoya had known right from the start that it had been because of him, had felt the guilt right from the start, because if this mess hadn’t been his fault – and he knew that for sure – he would have come straight here after practice on Thursday – maybe even during classes – to scold Asahi for not showing up for training.

But he hadn’t done that because he had known deep inside why Asahi hadn’t shown up.

It had been easier not to think about it, not to think about why he had said those words, why he didn’t want to appear weak in front of Asahi, why he didn’t want to fail in front of Asahi.

But now it hurt like hell.

He understood now that he craved what Asahi had wanted to offer him that Wednesday evening. An open ear, supportive words, honest advice and well-minded encouragement, a strong pad on the shoulder, maybe even a light hug and that heart lifting laugh Asahi showed so seldom.

But Nishinoya had been too proud to admit it, too proud to admit that he had needed help. He had blocked Asahi over and over again until Asahi hadn’t tried to attack again, until he had left the court and never showed up again.

“Please say something,” Nishinoya whispered, not able to tell if the strained silence had lasted several minutes or merely a few seconds, “anything.”

He was still staring at the ground, not daring to look up, so he couldn’t even tell if Asahi was still breathing. Luckily Nishinoya was blocking the door otherwise it could have been that he had been pouring out his heart to the sink.

But then he heard the shivery breathing of the older one, who seemed like he tried to build up some courage to actually talk to him and it was all too likely that Asahi had been holding his breath up until now.

Several times Asahi took deep breaths and several times Nishinoya tensed in anticipation.   
He had taken the right to say what he wanted to say, but now Asahi had just the same right to say what he wanted to, or even to say nothing at all and push him out of the way.

Nishinoya was scared. He’d never been so scared before in his life. 

He didn’t know what scared him more, Asahi not answering at all or what he would say.

What if Asahi would tell him that…

“I...” The third-year cleared his throat after his voice broke. It was plain that he had been barely talking during the last few days.

“I don’t want...” Asahi hesitated again and fresh tears rushed down Nishinoya’s cheek. Finally Asahi was talking to him, but he still didn’t dare to look up. “I don’t want you to stop playing volleyball.”

Nishinoya was finally able to look up through his tears.

Asahi was still not looking at him, but stood turned away like he was talking to the shower head.

“Then come back,” Nishinoya whispered much quieter than he had intended to, “then please come back. I can’t play in this team if you give it up, if you give up volleyball, because of me.”

All so slowly, like time was taking its time, Asahi lifted his head and a gentle smile caressed his cracked lips, but it was such a sad smile, like he had lost something he’d cherished.

“No,” he replied softly and for the first time he actually looked at Nishinoya. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“What the…?”

Asahi still smiled at him with this beautiful sad smile before shaking his head.

“I’m grateful for your words, Nishinoya. It… it takes a lot of courage and maturity to do what you just did, but I’m sorry, I don’t think I can...”

“What the hell are you saying?!” Nishinoya yelled and jumped a step forward. “What the fucking hell are you talking about?!”

Surprised, or maybe even scared, Asahi stepped back.   
  
“You’re grateful for my fucking words? Well, fuck that shit! If I had been honest with you and me right from the start, I would have said  _ I’m grateful _ ! If I had been honest, we wouldn’t fight here in your goddamn bathroom!”

Nishinoya bit his lower lip.

“You’re talking about courage and maturity? What I did was the most stupid and mean thing I’ve ever done in my life and I did it to you of all people! And now that I might lose you forever, what the hell are you doing? You apologize?! To me?! Are you freaking nuts?!”

Asahi raised his hands in an almost calming manner.   
  
"Nishi...”

“No!” Nishinoya grabbed Asahi’s sleeve. “Please be mad at me, scream at me, but don’t apologize. Not you, not after all you’ve done for me. I beg you, please keep playing, demand of me to leave the team, I will do it right away, but please...”

Nishinoya’s voice broke. 

“Yū.” 

It felt strange to hear his name whispered so softly. Nishinoya had never liked his first name, but when Asahi called him like that… 

“I would never ask something like that from you. I don’t want you to quit playing volleyball. You’re the best Libero I know.”

“Then come back, please, I can’t play without you.”   
  
Those deep, brown eyes stared at him in confusion through his hair strands, but then Asahi shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” He regarded his right hand almost deliberately. “I’m not strong enough, I cannot endure that again. I can’t break another time; I don’t know how I...”

“Asahi!” Nishinoya grabbed the hand Asahi surveyed and saw the third-year's eyes grow larger, could see some red in the white like a shimmering red thread. 

“I am sorry! You had a great time Wednesday and I destroyed everything. I know, you’re feeling like this because of me, Asahi, and I wish I could turn back time. If I only knew what I could do to...”

Helplessly he swung Asahi’s hand in the air, trying to find words he couldn’t name.

“I hurt you, I was mean, and you have the right to decide what you want, but I’m begging you. I need you, so please let me stay a part of your life!”   
  
“Excuse me?”

Asahi looked at him in even bigger confusion, detangling his fingers from Nishinoya’s hand. The libero suddenly realized what he’d been saying and doing.

"What?" Asahi muttered tonelessly. "What do you mean by that?"

They were finally looking each other in the face and Nishinoya knew for the first time what he really wanted to say.

“This time,” he said as clear as a bell and straightened up, “this time I mean it exactly as I said it. I’m not like you, not many things scare me, and words don’t impress me much. But when I came here, I was scared as hell. I was scared what you would say and I was scared I would lose you for good.”

He gulped heavily.

“I don’t wanna lose you, Asahi. Not on the court and not apart from that. I’m not scared of many things, but I don’t know what I would do if you...”   
  
His voice died.

For a long time Asahi simply looked at him, it was impossible to say what he was thinking.

“So what you said on Wednesday,” he mumbled after a while, “wasn’t the truth? You were simply...”

“Of course it wasn’t the truth!”   
  
He would never get how Asahi’s brain was working. Did Nishinoya have to spell it out? Should he write it down? Should he print it on a poster and carry it around for the next month?   
  
“I was mad at myself and disappointed in my abilities and you came around the corner with all your good intentions, but I was so angry that I simply said what I could to hurt you, because I knew how to hurt you. I didn’t say what I truly feel, because I didn’t want to appear weak in front of you. I was ashamed to fail in front of you, so I lashed out. I’m sorry.”

Asahi stared at him, head slightly tilted.

“Fine,” he said.

“What?” Who was fine? 

Nothing was fine. Nishinoya wasn’t fine!

“Fine,” Asahi repeated, still looking at him seriously, before taking a deep breath.

As he continued to talk it seemed like he was talking to himself and not to Nishinoya.

“What happened Wednesday wasn’t meant like that. You were having a bad day and took it out on me.”

Nishinoya nodded.

“Okay,” Asahi nodded, absolutely calm. “Okay, if it’s like that, please don’t do that again, I don't know if I could survive that a second time. Because I don’t know when you’re serious or simply taking your anger out on me. I believe your words, especially when they can hurt me, okay?”

Nishinoya nodded again. It was rare for Asahi to explain so plainly what he was feeling and it sounded really complicated to the libero, but he tried his best to understand it.

Asahi leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling, brushing with both hands through his hair.

But nothing was fine for Nishinoya.

“I’m sorry, Asahi,” he repeated honestly and deeply mourning. “Please believe me, I want and need you and I will tell you this as many times as you want until you can believe me."

Asahi looked down at him again and his gaze seemed different than before.

“I know and I understand how you feel,” he said simply, “after all, I feel the same way. I don’t know what I would do if I’d lose you.”

And then something broke within Nishinoya, tears streamed down his face and he was unable to stop them yet again. He was standing in the bathroom, crying like a little kid, hands balled to shaking fists, his whole body shivering.

He didn't know what was happening right now, why he was feeling the way he did and why he was crying in the first place, but then he felt strong arms around his back, a soft hand at the back of his head, a steady chest against his forehead.

“It’s alright Nishinoya, I’m here, I’m right here.”

Asahi was crying as well, that much he could tell while clutching at the other one’s shirt.

“Please don’t run away anymore,” Nishinoya whispered, “please don’t leave me alone.”

“Okay,” Asahi replied gently, “I'm not going to run away anymore, not as long as you want me to be with you.”

Now Nishinoya tried to laugh.   
  
“I’m so pathetic. I should be the one apologizing to you, encouraging you, not the other way around.” Even so, the tears continued to fall down his cheeks.

“This is still due from Wednesday," Asahi quietly countered, digging his chin into Nishinoya's hair, “but next time let’s skip the fighting, okay?”

“Mhm!” Nishinoya nodded and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, before freeing himself from Asahi’s strong arms.

“So everything is okay now?” He asked, suddenly insecure. “Between us? And what about the club?”

Asahi smiled faintly.

“It’s all good between you and me. But I can’t promise not to relapse, I’m not always master of my mind, and concerning the club...” He hesitated. “I still love playing volleyball and I still love being on the court with you and the others, but…”

“So just come back.”

Asahi laughed silently and ran his hands through his hair again.

“Well, I guess I will  _ just _ come back then.”

For a moment they simply looked at each other while Asahi smiled slightly embarrassed and Nishinoya couldn't hide a wide grin, but then suddenly a loud grumble startled them and Asahi doubled over like someone had just kicked him in the guts.

“Asahi-san? Asahi-san, what the hell is wrong?”

The older one wanted to answer but a second rumble almost as loud as an earthquake interrupted him.

“Is that… your stomach?”

Grimacing in pain Asahi nodded.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten since Wednesday? We had a practice match! You can’t not eat afterwards! And how come you notice just now? Are you crazy? You wanna die?!”

Asahi wanted to reply something but Nishinoya grabbed both his shoulders.

“You have to promise me something, Asahi-san.”   
  
“Huh?” The still twisting Ace looked up at him in bewilderment.

“No matter what I say or do, you may be mad or even hurt, but never – please – you’re not allowed to neglect yourself because of me or somebody else, understood? Promise me to take care of yourself, even if you only do it because you promised me, okay?”

Instead of answering Asahi started shivering and his eyes turned glassy. Suddenly Asahi’s legs gave in; Nishinoya tried to keep the older one up, but failed to lift the giant, so they fell to the ground, on their knees, in the bathroom, and this time it was Asahi who cried into Nishinoya’s shirt.

The libero embraced his ace and held him tight, placed his chin on those soft hairs and struggled with his own tears.

“It’s okay, Asahi-san. I’m here, I’m not going to leave you behind, ever again.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but the last month has been a ride and I had no excess to my computer (= my stories).  
> But now I'm back and I'm planning to come back to my schedule, meaning I will either post tomorrow already the next chapter (because it's sunday, you know) or next week's sunday.
> 
> So I hope you can forgive and enjoy the last few chapters.  
> Thanks everybody who was patient enough to stay on and to keep reading ;-)
> 
> Sharry

Chapter 6

 

“Oh, Akemi-chan that actually tastes good! I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Thanks, Yū-nii, do you think it needs more ginger? I can’t really taste any… wait a sec, what are you doing here?”

Nishinoya jumped from pot to pot trying all the different food she was preparing.

“Hmm, this one is good too, might need some more curry and salt. What is this…?”

“Yū-nii!”

He barely dodged the cooking spoon.

“Stop tasting without asking! I’m not done yet and what are you even doing here? Why aren’t you with my brother?!”

He looked up at her in confusion, a lid still in his hand.

“I sent him into the shower; he was reeking of old sweat. On top of that, his hair was a complete mess and have you seen his face? With that sorry excuse of a beard he looked like a homeless person.”

She fetched the lid from his hand and put it back on the pot.

“So he’s doing better?” She asked and concentrated a little bit too much on slicing the cucumber in front of her.

Grinning widely Nishinoya showed her two thumbs-up. It was easy to see that he had been crying; his eyes were reddened and swollen, but still he seemed just as happy as she knew him. How lucky they were that he was friends with her brother.

“He sure is!”

With a subtle smile she turned to her task, Nishinoya’s almost inhumanly big smile made her blush.

“That’s good,” she said and salted the meat like Nishinoya had suggested, “and you seem better as well.”

All she got in response was a loud laughter as Nishinoya started to set up the table.

Staying back in the kitchen Akemi leaned against the fridge and fought with her tears.

At last her big brother was doing better again; she had been worried sick. Last evening she had heard her parents fight because of Asahi, because they had been helpless as well. She had heard her strong mother cry and her gentle father curse.

How she hated feeling helpless, but there was nothing she could do whenever her brother was like that. Nobody was really able to help him if he withdrew into himself and wouldn’t talk to anybody.

When those strange kids had shown up the last day she couldn’t help but hope, especially after she had overheard what the tall one with the dark look had barked at her brother.

But when she had sneaked into his room that evening, everything had been the same as before. Her dear brother had been hovering on the bed and hadn’t even noticed when she came in. He hadn’t replied to any of her words; she wasn’t even sure if he had actually heard her.

But now Nishinoya was there; the lively libero was the only one who was able to reach Asahi. Well it was rather that Nishinoya was running after him until he caught him.

Smiling quietly, she went back to the stove.

To be totally honest she had doubted Nishinoya this time. She couldn’t recall her brother ever looking like that, not even that one day they were at the hospital. Even though Asahi was as insecure as anybody she could compare to, he always tried to be a big brother, always was her big brother and she couldn’t bear when he was at the point of breaking.

But apparently Nishinoya had proved her wrong; apparently she had misjudged how much he meant to her brother. He had been able to reach Asahi after she had already abandoned all hope.

“Where do you keep the bowls?”

Surprised, she looked up and noticed the libero working his way through their cupboards on his knees.    
  
“Ah, found them.”

“Yū.” She stood behind him with her hands on her hips.

With three bowls in his hand, he looked up to her in confusion.

“Don’t you dare breaking my brother’s heart ever again, got it?”

For a second he looked at her with huge eyes, before that familiar wide grin spread over his face just like she wanted it to.

“Don’t worry, this won’t happen a second time.”

She simply nodded while he jumped back up in the air and ran away, bowls rattling.

“And Yū-nii!”

Running on the spot he turned to her. 

“Thank you.”

He showed her a thumbs-up and grinned as he ran on.

When she was almost done with cooking Asahi showed up. He was wearing the pullover she had given him as a present for his last birthday. It had a grizzly bear right on the chest, and below the words  _ hug me, please _ ; a towel around his neck hindered his wet hair from dripping down on everything. He still looked groggy and tired, but at least he was smiling faintly as he rubbed the back of his head.

He really seemed to be doing better.

“My dear brother, stop standing there like furniture, help us set up the table,” she ordered after a moment of silence and pushed a bowl of salad into his large hands.

Nishinoya meanwhile was still running back and forth between kitchen and table like he was going for a world record.

A few minutes later they were all sitting around the table, the libero digging in like usual and Asahi eating bigger portions as well, like he planned to make up for the last days right away. He was drinking even more too, maybe because Akemi had bought his favorite sports drink.

She preferred watching them eat rather than stuffing herself like they did. Most of all she watched the libero mutate into an entertainer, making her and her faint-hearted brother laugh over and over again. Thanks to the energized libero the meal turned into a feast as the mood turned jovial, while they talked about this and that, laughing most of the time.

Later in the afternoon, Akemi decided to give the boys some privacy and took her leave to lay down to rest a little bit.

 

*****

 

Nishinoya and Asahi continued eating until they could almost roll down the street and were totally satisfied, before heavily getting back on their feet to clean up.

They still chatted in a light mood, but the conversation was mainly a monologue by Nishinoya; Asahi had grown even more quiet after his sister had left them.

He wasn’t much of a talker, Nishinoya knew that much, and of course he usually needed longer to get back on track, to feel like himself again. The libero had often noted how Asahi was thinking about stuff that happened weeks ago, while he hadn’t even remembered it longer than it took for a cocky response.

They were just different when it came to stuff like that.

Even so, it troubled him deeply. He tried to loosen the mood with funny one-liners, he told Asahi the important stuff he had missed at school the last two days – for example Tanaka losing an arm wrestling match against another second-year from the basketball club and that Ryu was now owing him his lunch for the next two weeks, except if Daichi would be able to save the volleyball team's honor by beating the basketball team's captain, which nobody was doubting – and how practice went.

But Asahi stayed silent most of the time, not even looking at Nishinoya more often than necessary while washing the dishes and handing them to the libero.

Groaning loudly Nishinoya rubbed his eyes.

“Gee, you’re so exhausting sometimes.”

“I’m sorry?”   
  
Asahi looked down on him, almost frightened. Shaking his head Nishinoya put his hands against his hip.

“I would really like to know what’s going on in your hairy head. I thought we'd cleared it all up, why are you still looking like I cut off your hair ?”

Asahi looked at him for a moment with huge eyes before turning back to the sink. 

“I don't look like that at all,” he grumbled embarrassed.

“You do!” Nishinoya disagreed in a much louder voice and lightly punched his elbow in Asahi’s side.

“If something’s wrong, you gotta tell me,” he then muttered more quietly. “I mean I can’t read your thoughts and then I just don’t know what to do.”

Now Asahi looked back at him.

“You don’t know what to do?  _ You _ ? Out of all people?” He asked almost disbelieving. “You always know what to say. Even if Daichi or Sugawara are nervous you have a cool line to spill. You notice me getting scared before even I do.”

“So what?!” Nishinoya couldn’t help blushing. “That's something different. In those moments I know what’s going on with you guys. I know it’s simple fear and I know how to deal with that. But when you’re like this right now, so quiet and serious, then I don’t know what’s going on with you and I have no clue what I can say and that pisses me off, because I don’t want you to worry about something stupid we could easily deal with together.”

And suddenly it was there, this small great smile Asahi showed so seldom, before putting his hands at his hip as well and shaking his head slightly. Nishinoya’s heart pounded faster. He knew that behavior too well and immediately started grinning, although he had no clue yet what the other one was going to say.

Seeing Asahi smile like that, a smile Nishinoya loved and cherished, made him happy beyond reason.

“But you do know exactly what to say,” Asahi said with this special smile, “I’m feeling much better already, just by talking to you.”

“Great!” Nishinoya laughed before he realized something important. “But you still haven’t told me what you were brooding about.”

“Uh, that was only...” Asahi scratched his downy chin, now gazing around trying to avoid looking at the libero, who noticed it immediately.

“Yeah?!” Nishinoya asked directly, stepping closer.

“Well, you know… it’s actually only… not, that it’s really...”

“Stop chewing around and spit it out! Is it about the team? If it’s that, you can relax. Of course we were all worried, but just because of skipping for three days Daichi-san won’t behead you. Even after skipping a whole month you could come back, so I doubt that...”

“Nishinoya,” Asahi raised both hands and tried to calm him down, which wasn’t an easy task given the flow the libero was in. “I know that I can always come back.”

That was so unusually self-confident of his ace that Nishinoya completely forgot what he was talking about and stared at Asahi with wide open mouth.

“It’s not about that.”

“So what’s it about?” Nishinoya asked slightly impressed. There he was again, the Asahi he had always seen behind their fearful ace, flashing through that facade for just a heartbeat. Even now, after almost three days hiding in his room and Nishinoya fearing to lose him for good, even now he was still there, hiding beneath those insecure gleaming doe eyes.

Asahi blushed deeply and ruffled his halfway dried hair.

“Oh no, I’d feel embarrassed and don’t want to...”

“Spit it out!”

Sighing deeply Asahi turned towards the sink and Nishinoya wanted to yell at him again as the older one was reaching for the next plate and started talking. 

“You know that Hinata and Kageyama visited yesterday?”   
  
“Sure,” Nishinoya answered and took the plate, curious where this conversation would lead them. 

For a moment they worked in silence.

“Kageyama said some stuff and it’s gotten stuck in my mind.”

“Mhm.”

Nishinoya knew that Kageyama had spilled the beans; after all that was why he was here, because the first-year had told them Asahi wouldn’t return to the club. What exactly the setter had told their ace however Nishinoya didn’t know, but he hadn’t planned on following their trainers order either one way or another, so he didn’t mind that Kageyama broke that order, either.

Still, he was well aware – maybe even more than anybody else from their team – how much pressure this knowledge could be for Asahi. He wanted to encourage the older one to strive for his full potential but without pressuring him that he had to reach it right now.

“Did you know that Daichi and Suga enrolled in a prep course for university?”

“Huh?” Confused, Nishinoya looked up from his bowl.

What was that sudden change of topic about? What did it have to do with what Kageyama had told Asahi yesterday?

“Suga wanted me to enroll in it as well but I never actually planned on going to university, that’s why I’m not in their class after all.”

Asahi focused on the sponge in his hand.

“My grades aren’t that bad and I’m sure I could make those entry exams if I just studied hard enough, but even before I made it to High School, I knew I would start working as soon as I’m done to get my own money. I knew even before I made it to Karasuno that those three years here would be my last to play volleyball the way I want to.”

Nishinoya stayed silent. He avoided thinking about what would happen after Nationals; avoided thinking about the third-years leaving them at some point, but of course they were.

More than once he had heard them talk about the topic; he even remembered how Sugawara had tried to convince Asahi to join their prep class, but Asahi had declined.

“It’s not like I’m tired of learning,” Asahi mused more to himself than to Nishinoya, “actually I'd like to learn even more, but universities cost money and we just can’t manage that much.”

The libero gulped silently, this was another subject he had never really thought - even less worried - about.

It wasn’t like Nishinoya came from a rich family, but he had never worried about something trivial like money standing between him and his goals.

It wasn’t odd nowadays for both parents to be working and as far as he knew Asahi’s parents were both doing really well in their jobs, but sometimes that just wasn’t enough, right?

“Of course I didn’t tell it to my parents like that. When my father talked with me about my future it was my decision – mine alone – not to go to university; he didn’t discourage me or anything like that, but I could see how relieved he was that I was soon ready to take care of my myself. But...”   
  
If Nishinoya was completely honest, he had never thought about what he was up to after school. He just wanted to play volleyball for the rest of his life and suddenly he noticed how difficult that goal seemed if his ace wouldn’t be on the court with him anymore.   
  
At the same time he was able to imagine Asahi in an incredible number of professions. Except things that had to do with young children – although Asahi could do well with kids, for whatever reason they were scared of him – or required a lot of courage; well, the longer he thought about it, there weren’t so many cool jobs left and he really hoped Asahi wouldn’t end up like one of those boring pencil pushers.

Asahi’s voice started to tremble.

“But if I had the chance to play volleyball a little bit longer, to get a little bit further, then …”   
  
Asahi broke off and pressed the back of his hand against his mouth like he was about to break down in tears.

“Hey,” Nishinoya laughed slightly overwhelmed from the sudden shift in emotions. He wasn’t able to follow the quick train of thought.   
  
“I never wanted to think about it,” Asahi mumbled and placed both hands on the kitchen counter, leaning heavily against it, “no unattainable hopes, staying realistic. Only the really good ones can get the chance of a scholarship; only the best of the best can play volleyball on a high level all their lives, maybe even becoming professionals, and I’ve always known that I would never be part of that elite group; after all I’m an average guy and even naturals like you and Kageyama will have a tough time following that path. But now I wonder, if Kageyama and Coach Ukai are actually right...” The next words he whispered like he was afraid of evoking doom. “… could I maybe actually make it?”

He stared at Nishinoya as if he was supposed to know the answer.

“You told me countless times that you think I’m good but to be honest I never really understood why you would think that.”

Nishinoya wanted to explain exactly why he thought that, but Asahi was already continuing.

“I thought you said it to be nice to me, to encourage me. But Kageyama would never do that. He doesn’t even know what encouraging means, he was just mad at me for wasting my potential.”

Well, yes, bluntless suited their special setter much more than friendly chirped words.

“But if even Kageyama and Coach Ukai believe it; believe that I really have potential, do you think – be honest – do you really believe I could make it that far? Do you believe, I could become good enough for a sports scholarship? So I could play a little bit…?”

“Of course!”

Nishinoya didn't need to think for a second, interrupting Asahi.

“The first time I saw you crush down a block I knew that you’re better than others, that you can be one of the best. You have the strength, the stamina, and the eye to see where the ball is coming from and where it has to land.”

He took a deep breath.    
  
“I knew right from the start that you have all you need. Except one thing: the will; I always tried to awaken your own one, but...” Now Nishinoya was the one to look away. “But it doesn’t matter what I think about you. The real question is, do you believe that you’re good enough?”

Asahi didn’t answer and when Nishinoya looked up he could observe the older one regarding the sponge in his right hand like it was his whole life.

“I don’t know,” Asahi answered after a moment, “I really don’t know if I’m good enough.”

“Asa…!”

“But I know,” he continued calmly, looking at Nishinoya directly, “I know that I want this. I want to continue staying on the court, playing volleyball. Not only till Nationals, not only until school is over. I want a scholarship so I can go to university and continue playing! I want...” He spluttered and took a deep breath. “I want to make it to the top, maybe even to the National team.”

“Asahi-san!”   
  
Crying, Nishinoya leapt into his ace's arms. Somewhat underestimating himself, he jumped too high, and wrapped his legs around the broad shoulders and dug his hands and head into Asahi’s almost dry hair. 

Nishinoya had known from the very start that Asahi carried some damn talent within him, but for a long time he had been the only one to think so. During their first time practicing together Nishinoya had noticed that some teammates had easily dismissed Asahi’s skills  because of his fragile confidence and thought that he had found a place on the court simply because of his figure and inches.

At some point the team had finally figured out that Asahi was more than a grown-up face and some muscles, and Daichi and Sugawara had never doubted their ace since.

The only one who probably hadn't even noticed his potential, let alone taken it seriously, had arguably been Asahi himself. Sometimes Nishinoya wondered what the old coach Ukai had thought of his ace.

When the new first-years had shown up, Nishinoya was glad to see that their hunger had awakened Asahi as well but the older one had still lowered his head out of sight more often than not.

But during the practice match on Wednesday it had finally seemed like Asahi had freed himself from that self-made cage and Nishinoya prayed he would never hide himself again.

“Hey,” his ace muttered, stumbling back several steps to secure his balance. “Could you please ...Nishinoya…”

“I'm so proud of you,” he muffled into his beloved jesus hair, “and you will make it, I know it. I will support you with all I have. You can count on me.”

“Okay,” Asahi stammered, not half as strongly as Nishinoya wanted him to, “so could you please get down from me before I suffocate.”

Filled with new energy Nishinoya jumped back on his own feet and gleamed at the other one. Asahi smiled back with rosy cheeks, scratching his neck.

“Just do me a favor and keep it to yourself, okay? That’d be quite some...”

“Of course I won’t, Asahi-san!” Nishinoya shook his head. “Do you actually think I would be able to keep a secret for more than two seconds?”

“No, not really...”

“Yeah, me neither! Besides it’s totally cool if...”

“Nishinoya!”

He shut up when Asahi looked at him in a serious manner.

“Please, first I need to talk with my parents about it and afterwards with Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda, if I even come into consideration for a scholarship and how likely it is that I can make it, you understand?”   
  
Scowling, Nishinoya nodded halfheartedly. 

“So please, don’t yell it around on Monday, okay? First I want to find out if it could even work before you and I start hoping, okay?”

Sighing deeply Nishinoya raised both hands in defeat.

“Fine, fine with me. I’ll wait until you figure it all out.”

Now Asahi seemed happier than before.

“Thanks.”

“But!” Nishinoya lifted his forefinger. “In return I will sleep here tonight.”

“What? Why?!”

“Well isn’t it obvious? I left all my stuff at the gym, but the practice is over by now and grandpa will kill me if he finds out I forgot it again...”

“ _ Again? _ ” Asahi repeated with a raised eyebrow.

“But if I stay with you, he won’t know, and everyone is happy.”

Nishinoya grinned widely, but Asahi wasn’t convinced.

“But wouldn’t that mean you have to stay here until Monday?”

Nishinoya nodded with his grin like it was the most logical solution in the world.

“It’s not like your parents are at home or would object. I mean not after all those times I’ve slept here, even two times during the week.”

Asahi still wasn’t convinced.

“But I need to study, Nishinoya, I have to catch up on two whole days plus homework.”

“Yeah, but I need to study as well”, the libero said and his eyes flashed dangerously, “and because all my stuff is at the gym I could borrow your materials from last year.”

“So that’s what this is about.”

“Oh, don’t make a fuss about it. Half of your notes are copies from Suga.”

“That’s so not true and by...”

“Oh come on, Asahi-san! Please! Who knows when we’ll have another chance. When Nationals get closer and tests are coming up we might have no time to meet aside from school and if you go to some university at the other end of Japan, I might not get to see you for a whole year and who knows what...”

“Okay, okay, okay.”

His ace bowed his head in defeat. “Fine, call home and say that you stay over. I’ll get the materials.”

Nishinoya used the landline to call his grandpa because his mobile phone was also stuck in the gym – probably dying right now. Meanwhile Asahi came back, carrying several books, folders, and other materials and spread them across the table.

“Say,” Asahi mumbled blushing, “I just noticed you don’t even have clothes to change. What should we do about…?”

“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll just take one of your old shirts for sleeping.”

Asahi scratched his neck, slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah, that’s fine but I actually meant...”

“And about boxers. I was prescient and stocked some of mine in your sock drawer last Tanabata festival, just in case of course.”

Asahi stared at him with his mouth open.

“What? We both knew it was just a matter of time, right?”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So even though it's not sunday, here is the next chapter.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Greetings ;-)

Chapter 7

 

In silence, they sat at the table.

Not that Nishinoya hadn't tried talking before, but with a serious look Asahi had easily silenced him. It was really intimidating when the gentle, always polite and friendly Asahi looked at him in that so far unknown way. He must have learned that from Daichi and Sugawara.

Sighing quietly, the libero lowered his gaze again. None of this went as planned. No, actually everything went as planned, but that didn't mean it was a good thing.

Again, he looked up and watched the other.

Asahi was bent low over the table, his forehead furrowed in concentrated wrinkles, his unbound hair falling over his shoulder as he stroked it behind his ear repeatedly, with his pen sometimes tangled in-between.

He looked significantly better than the day before; his skin had regained some color and his facial features weren’t as sunken in as before. Except for the dark circles under his eyes, he actually looked like his former self again. Yesterday they had wanted to go to bed early – well, actually it had been Asahi who had almost yawned once every minute from half past eight on, as he had been oh so tired – but as they had been laying on the mats in Asahi’s room, they hadn’t been able to stop talking.

Nishinoya could well remember Asahi’s profile, one arm supporting the back of his head, gaze directed towards the dark ceiling, illuminated only by the moonlight.

For hours they had talked to each other, about funny things, about serious things, about things from the past and things from the future. They had laughed and they had become very calm, sometimes only for seconds, sometimes for several minutes and yet none of them had fallen asleep – even though Asahi had been oh so tired – and at some point one of them had spoken again, about things that were otherwise easily forgotten, lost between the lines or drowned under the hustle and bustle of the day.

In those hours, Nishinoya had watched Asahi, had hardly ever let him out of sight, memorized his profile in the moonlight very precisely. After all, he didn't know when they would find the time to talk to each other like that again.

After all, he didn't know if they would ever have such conversations again after ... after Asahi would leave school.

Until now, Nishinoya had always avoided thinking about the future; had avoided thinking about Asahi eventually leaving for university and even if Nishinoya would follow him just a year later, who knew what could happen in a year?

“What is it?” Asahi looked up, a questioning expression in his eyes, before smiling apologetically. “Just because I told you I need to focus on my stuff doesn't mean you're not allowed to ask me questions if you don't understand something.”

Still showing that warm smile, Asahi scratched his neck with the end of the pen. “Sorry if I came across a bit harsh just now, but you're always getting distracted so quickly, Nishinoya.”

The libero did not react when Asahi leaned over to him and pulled the booklet closer to himself.

“Where are you at? Oh, past perfect progressive, yes I remember my issues with that. But actually, it's quite simple, you just have to …”

Nishinoya wanted to listen to him, really wanted to listen to him. After all, Asahi just took the time to explain something to him, even though he had to catch up two days of school and had decided to go to university only yesterday.

But Nishinoya couldn't stop looking at the other, comparing this Asahi to the Asahi from last night and the Asahi from yesterday noon, and Nishinoya slowly wondered what he was actually doing here.

Over and over again, Nishinoya just pushed himself on the other. How did he know Asahi really wanted him here? Maybe Asahi was just too kind to kick him out?

No, what was he thinking?

Asahi was quite good-natured and often missed making his opinion heard, but that didn't mean he wasn't able to take care of himself.

No, no, no, Nishinoya shouldn't be so rude and underestimate Asahi. He was lovely and polite, wasn't nearly as spontaneous or direct as Nishinoya or Tanaka, but still Nishinoya was sure Asahi didn't mind him being here right now.

“What's wrong with you?”

Surprised, he looked up. Asahi regarded him with raised eyebrows.

“Where are you with your thoughts again?”

“Oh,” Nishinoya waved it off, “I was just thinking about which university to choose.”

“Nishinoya,” Asahi sighed, rolling his eyes, and ruffled through his hair. “We talked about it, didn’t we? First, I talk to my parents, then to the teachers and then, but only then, we can think about the next step, okay?”

The libero nodded, did not even attempt to initiate a discussion about an excuse.

“Well, then put your nose back into the English tenses and as I said, if you have questions – about the subject – you can ask me.”

With a mumbled  _ thank you _ , Nishinoya followed the order without really reading the words in front of his eyes.

They were quiet again, the silence only disturbed by the flipping of pages and the scraping of Asahi's pen. Soon his parents would arrive and then the quietness would be over. Not that Nishinoya would mind. 

He liked Asahi's parents. His father was like Asahi’s adult twin and an outstanding cook, a talent his son had inherited from him. His mother on the other hand managed to burn  even frozen pizza and was also able to become all worked up about it. But she was a clever woman who always had some handy advice ready and besides, she was quite excellent at poker, in which, on the other hand, both her husband and Asahi were absolute failures.

Along with the energetic Akemi, who had inherited her father's cooking talent and her mother's confidence, this small family had become Nishinoya's sanctuary during the last year.

Asahi's parents had never questioned when Nishinoya had suddenly shown up in the doorway or when he had wanted to stay overnight. As long as Asahi had agreed, they had never made even the slightest sign that he wasn’t welcome.

Would that change if Asahi and he stopped going to school together? If they didn't play volleyball together anymore?

Nishinoya had not exaggerated when he had said that he was afraid of losing Asahi out of his life. That was one of his biggest fears and even though he had been able to prevent it this time, he had become very afraid of the future.

After all, even Asahi couldn't promise that things wouldn't change and no matter what Nishinoya would say or do, he would always lag a year behind his elder; just a damn year, but he felt like this one year was a canyon opening up between them and separating them forever.

Of course, he would follow Asahi a year later and then they would be back together, would play volleyball together again and would be able to study together again. Then they wouldn't be high schooler and student, but two students again, just like they were two high schoolers right now.

But even then, at some point the day would come when Asahi would leave university and enter the working life and then Nishinoya would be behind him for another damn year.

He had never given the future much thought – he never thought much about anything in general – but since yesterday this had changed; he had changed.

Although, if he was completely honest, that unsteady feeling had started a long time ago. Not only during the dispute at the time when Asahi had left the team.

Already then, during the game against Date Tech, even then, in the split seconds when he had seen Asahi breaking down, those were the moments, the moments when he had known that it wasn’t just about volleyball anymore.

“Yū?”

He looked up; he had been distracted again and now Asahi would scold him for it.

But Asahi didn't look at him at all, his gaze set on the textbook in front of him, repeatedly tapping the blank sheet with the top of his pen, the other hand scratching his neck as he propped his elbow on the table.

He seemed caught in deep thoughts and then he finally looked up and his warm eyes seemed to almost pierce right into Nishinoya's soul.

“Can I ask you something?” Asahi mused, without interrupting their eye contact.

Something was in the air and the libero could do nothing but nod mutely as Asahi took a deep breath.

“Could it be …?” Asahi interrupted himself and lowered his eyes back to the textbook in front of him. “I'm worried, you know? I wonder if this here ... I wonder if this is here is such a good thing. Sometimes, I feel – I fear - that you are too dependent on me and I …” Now Asahi shook his head while closing his eyes. “And I definitely don't want you to make any decisions because of me that you might regret at some point. Maybe not next week, maybe not next month, but what's in a year's time? What's in ten years?”

“What are you talking about Asahi-san?”

Confused but also slightly worried, Nishinoya looked at the older one, could hardly understand what Asahi was talking about, what he meant by that. What was Asahi trying to tell him?

“Well.” Asahi smiled and ruffled through his hair again before looking at Nishinoya with a raised eyebrow. “When you just said that you were thinking about university, I wondered if you were worrying about which university I should choose or you should and I realized that maybe that wouldn’t make any difference to you. I wonder if you'd go to any university just to follow me.”

“Wouldn't you want that?” Nishinoya didn't know what was going on here, but could it be that Asahi didn't even want him to chase after him?

“That's not what this is about,” Asahi disagreed and shook his head. “It's nothing to do with me at all, Nishinoya. I'm worried about you. If you make all the decisions that can affect your future simply depending on me, then one day you will regret that.”

“Who says I do?” By now Nishinoya felt slight despair rise within him. He thought they had clarified everything the previous day, so why, why did this all feel so wrong right here, right now?

“You did. You said it yesterday.” Asahi still spoke calmly, yet there was an urgency in his voice. “Or what was that after Date Tech, when you just left the club just because I did?”

“But Asahi-san, that was …”

“Let's face it, Nishinoya, if I hadn't come back would you be at the club right now? Would you play volleyball now? "

Nishinoya felt cold when Asahi looked at him so directly. The libero knew the answer to this question, he knew it very well. But the answer didn't scare him, didn't even surprise him, but it scared him that it seemed to pose a problem for the other.

“Thought so,” Asahi continued, “and that's exactly what I'm talking about, Nishinoya. You're so talented, you're one of the few who could make it all the way to the very top and you put it all on the line, just because of me? That's ridiculous, really.”

Now it was Nishinoya who looked away.

“So what,” he muttered, hurt, “so it's ridiculous. But what's so wrong with that?” He looked up again. “What's wrong with sticking to my principles? What's wrong with the fact that I enjoy playing more when you're on the field with me? What's wrong with me wanting to be close to you?”

Asahi just looked at him for something that felt like an eternity without saying anything and the libero didn't know what this whole discussion was about in the first place.

Then Asahi sighed and shook his head again.

“There's nothing wrong with that, Nishinoya. I just don't want you to regret anything in the future. If I hadn't gone back to the club, you wouldn't be playing volleyball today. But I'm not as strong as you are, Nishinoya; I can hardly make the right decisions for my own life, I don't want to jeopardize your future by making the wrong calls. "

Asahi folded his hands and almost pleaded with Nishinoya.

“I wouldn't be happy about my life if I knew that one of my choices - like when I left the club - would destroy your future and the burden of that responsibility is a burden that I'm very afraid of.”

Slowly Nishinoya understood and the panic that had permeated him up until now settled down as he finally understood what the other was trying to say.

He leaned towards Asahi and nodded.

“You might be right about all of this, but you’re forgetting something, Asahi-san,” he said with half a smile, “those are my decisions.”

His ace's eyes grew large.

“They may not be the smartest ones, not purely rational, maybe not what a prodigy like Kageyama or a smart head like Suga-san would do, but they’re my decisions not yours and so far, I've always been able to do quite well with my choices. I have never regretted them so far, no matter how much time has passed. If you don't want to play, that's your decision, but if I decide I don’t want to go on the court without you, then I just have the same right to choose it like that and it's pretty unfair of you to not grant me that right.”

Asahi opened his mouth, but no word came over his lips while he stared at Nishinoya in stunned silence.

“You know, Asahi,” he went on, to back up his point, “You might find it ridiculous that I make my decisions dependent on you, but for me that's not funny at all. Do you know how shitty it is for me to always be a year behind you? Next school year you go to university, and then I will be just a small high schooler and even if I get to university then you are already about to finish it again. I am always behind you for a whole year and I will never be able to catch up this year and that makes me really angry.”

He bit his lower lip.

“I want to spend as much time with you as possible, but second-years are not supposed to lament around with third-years and high schoolers are not supposed to lob around at universities. So yeah, maybe it's ridiculous that I want to go to the same university as you. But on the other hand, I've never even thought about what I want to do after school before. So thinking about that, is it really the worst thing if I go to study, even if I’m just doing it to be able to play with you in a team again?”

Asahi didn't reply.

“I meant what I said yesterday, seriously, and I don't want to annoy or burden you with it, but it's just the truth. So maybe in ten years I’ll regret what I decide today, but I don’t really care what's in ten years. You know what I do care about? Wednesday evening, I regretted that and not just ten years later. So as long as you don't tell me that you don’t want me to follow you to university, you won't be able to stop me from making my decisions and quite honestly, even if you were to say that, I don't know if I would listen to you.”

For another moment, Asahi looked at Nishinoya, then buried his face in his hands and propped both elbows on the table. Shaking his head, he let his hands slide down, just covering his nose, mouth, and jaw, and looked over towards Nishinoya.

They sat like that for at least a few minutes without anyone breaking the silence.

“Don't you have anything to say about that?” Nishinoya finally asked, when he found it harder to withstand those clear eyes. “Do you have nothing to say about that at all?”

“I'm speechless,” Asahi confessed quietly, slowly shaking his head, half of his face still hidden behind his hands, “I don't even know what to say about it. You always knock me over directly; when you get started, I am defenceless.”

The third-year laughed quietly before finally dropping his hands on the table.

“Even though I never forget how strong you are, Nishinoya, sometimes I forget how wise you can be.”

Now it was the libero who lacked the words.

“For you, this one year is an insurmountable wall that separates you from me in all eternity. For me, however, that is not the case at all. For me, this one year, these few weeks is everything I am ahead of you and I feel like the distance is getting smaller every day and that you're going to just overtake me soon and then be uncatchable forever. I was always pretty sure that one day you'll just leave me behind and then I don't want my little part in your past to shape your entire future.”

Asahi looked at him seriously.

“But you're right, regardless of what I want for you, it is and will remain your decision and everything. So, I'm not going to tell you what you have to do or not – after all, I can barely make my own choices - but I'll support you however you may choose. If you decide to follow me to a university, then I would be very happy about it, because I also like to spend time with you, but I want you to do that because it's the right one for you and not just because I'm there, okay?”

Nishinoya nodded slowly.

“Okay.” Asahi sounded a little more serene again, reaching for his pen. “Then we should really study now, because for university we need good grades and you've got some catching up to do there right now, don't you?”

Grumbling in agreement, the Libero bent over his booklet again, not that he could concentrate now anyway.

After a while, he decided to bring the topic back again.

“Are you really worried that I'll leave you behind one day, Asahi?” He mused without looking up.

“Sure,” Asahi said in a gentle tone, “don’t you know how good you are? How can I keep up with someone like you in the long run when we're fully grown? Now a year might make a difference, but in a few years it doesn’t matter anymore whether you’ve trained for teen or eleven years. At some point time will separate the wheat from the chaff, no matter how much one trains.”

Nishinoya looked at the strange words in front of him thoughtfully.

“Yes, but how am I supposed to leave you behind when we're playing on the same team? I mean, we both just have to train hard enough for us to make it all the way to the National team, right? There’s no stronger team above that for us and no one can leave the other one behind.”

Asahi laughed out loud.

“You say this as if this would be something easy to do, as if you could just become a national player because you want to.”

“But we can only do it, if we try and want to, if we believe in ourselves that we can make it, right?”

For a moment, they looked at each other.

“So you think we can make it all the way to the top? To the World Championships? "

“Sure!” Nishinoya laughed . “We're the perfect team after all: Me, the Libero, the defense deity, and you, the ace, center of the offense. Together we're invincible!”

Asahi laughed as well and brushed through his hair again.

“All right, Nishinoya, from the Spring Tournament to the World Championships.”

“Pinky promise?”

“That was a joke, Nishi…”

Nishinoya held his pinky finger out and Asahi's eyes grew large again.

“Let's promise Asahi! Let’s go into the future together, together to the Championship of the Spring Tournament, together to the National team and no one leaves the other one behind.”

After a brief eternity, Asahi nodded and tangled his pinky finger around Nishinoya’s.

“Promised,” they whispered in unison as a sublime mood settled over them, the books forgotten as they stared at each other, and Nishinoya knew there was something else there, something else that had never been clearly perceived before.

“Nishinoya,” Asahi continued, while they were still holding onto their pinky fingers, “Yū, I have to tell you something ... What I actually want to say is that …”

“Hello everybody! Asahi! Akemi! We're back and we've brought along some pie!”

Mr. and Mrs. Azumane came through the door and whatever Asahi had wanted to say was drowned by the joyful family meeting.

But that was fine, he would certainly find the time to say what he wanted to say later. After all, they still had the whole future ahead of them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> yes, I'm aware I'm not on time... sorry again, but don't worry we will continue until we reach the end.
> 
> Thank you guys for your patience and your kind words.
> 
> Enjoy ;-)

Chapter 8

 

“Good morning!”

Waving with outstretched arms Hinata waited next to the gym’s door. Next to him stood Kageyama – not half as excited – and nodded towards Sugawara.

Those two were making him crazy. It was Monday morning, not even twenty to seven and Sugawara was there early to tidy up the changing room – with a dozen more or less tidy guys something always got lost or broken – but these two maniacs were already waiting for him, both of them with volleyballs in their hands.

He lifted a hand to greet them as he got closer.

Sugawara was really glad that they weren’t currently training every day, otherwise he’d had no idea how to manage keeping up with his studying schedule. Coach Ukai said it was good to have one resting day with only light exercise – like running or swimming – instead of straining oneself every single day, at least for as long as there were no competitions around the corner.

Still, Sugawara doubted that all their club members followed that order, but right now he wouldn’t worry about stuff like that; it made his head hurt.

While he unlocked the door, they talked about the past weekend, but the moment the door swung open Hinata raced inside, aiming for the changing room, leaving the setters behind.

“Say Sugawara-san.” Kageyama hadn’t followed Hinata but remained next to him with folded arms. “Have you heard anything about Azumane-san? Or Nishinoya-san?”

Sugawara observed the other one in surprise.

“You think a lot about that stuff.”

Kageyama shrugged his shoulders and followed Sugawara inside.

“Azumane-san’s a good ace and it will be tough on our team without him, not even talking about Nishinoya-san. But if they leave the club we have to accept that and restructure. When losing not only one but two starters – without even having cover for both – each day could matter.”

Kageyama was right, but it still hurt to hear those words. However, they weren’t at that point just yet and Sugawara was far from giving up.

After he had sent Nishinoya to Asahi on Saturday before practice he hadn’t heard from any of them, but he had decided to keep concentrating on practice. He had known that there wouldn’t be any answers or solutions on the same day.

While the team had been running he had been talking with Daichi, Shimizu and coach Ukai about what had happened. Sugawara had told them that it would be best to wait for Monday before thinking about any next steps and the other ones had agreed.

Their coach had been anything but excited about their situation – telling them multiple times that he was no help dealing with high school drama – but he had stayed serious and concentrated as well.

After the other team members had returned they had trained as usual. The mood hadn’t been as low as before and coach Ukai had told the younger ones that they shouldn’t worry about their ace. Some of the more easy-minded ones had accepted that without questioning, some of the smarter ones had doubted it wordlessly. 

“Let’s see if Asahi comes to school today,” Sugawara replied with half a smile and patted Kageyama’s shoulder, but he wasn’t nearly as calm about the situation as he acted to be.

On Saturday he and Daichi had another serious conversation after training about their team spirit hanging by a thread right now and no matter how tough it would be on both of them, if they were to crumble now, their team was already lost.

So Sugawara played it cool and confident, like everything could be dealt with. Inside he was actually worrying over the success rate of his plan to a level where he came to the conclusion that he probably had to drag Asahi out of his room with his own bare hands.

It rankled him that he hadn’t heard anything from Nishinoya or Asahi. With a sigh he was about to follow Kageyama to the changing room when a loud laughter from outside caught his attention.

In bewilderment he spun around and rushed to the door.

In the light of the slowly rising sun two figures made their way towards him.

One was small and jumped up and down all the time, carrying a simple grocery bag, which seemed to contain a traditional bento box.

Nishinoya was wearing his sport uniform and showed his largest grin while playfully boxing the other one into the side.

It was Asahi.

Sugawara could feel his eyes tearing up.

Asahi had his bag over his shoulder as usual, hair tied back, and scolded Nishinoya softly for being too loud, a subtle smile on his face.

But the libero ignored him as he spotted Sugawara and waved while greeting him from a distance.   
  
For a second he could see how Asahi bit his lower lip and looked away, before raising his head and grinning at Sugawara, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

Then Sugawara was swept from his feet by the libero, who greeted him like they hadn’t seen each other for months.

Sugawara stumbled backwards against the closed half of the gym door, almost falling to the ground.

“Hey, you’re in a good mood, Nishinoya.”

“Yeah, totally looking forward to practice today. I mean, I missed Saturday.”   
  
Both of them got back on their feet, but Nishinoya didn’t waste another second on the setter, instead jumping inside the gym greeting their small middle blocker with a double high-five.

A few steps in front of Sugawara Asahi paused and lowered his head, an apologizing smile still on his face.

The setter wanted to say something, something warm, gentle, but something funny and light as well, but he was out of words to say.

He wanted to avoid having a strange moment where everybody was standing in front of each other without knowing what to say; he knew that Asahi didn’t like those odd stretching moments of silence, but right now he was simply…

“Hey guys!”

Their captain appeared out of nowhere, swinging an arm around the broad shoulders of their ace.

“What are you doing outside? Did Tanaka flood the gym again?”

Sugawara wanted to jump straight into Daichi’s arms right now. While he was fighting his tears because he had been so worried about Asahi, Daichi acted like nothing out of the ordinary was going on.   
  
Except for a faint glimmer in his eyes nothing gave him away.

“No, not this time,” Sugawara answered a little bit too quickly, but nobody noticed as Daichi regarded Asahi.

“What happened to your eye? Looks bad,” he commented in his usually rough way he loved to use while talking to Asahi.

“Cool, right?” Nishinoya yelled to them from inside of the gym while the third-years walked inside and Asahi mumbled that it was nothing but a little burst blood vessel. “Makes him look like a real villain out of a movie, right?”

Daichi took a moment to observe Asahi again with a doubtful look.

“The villain? More like the damsel in distress.”

“What?” Asahi stared at Daichi in disbelief while Sugawara couldn’t hide a snicker.

“Oh, that’s cool!” Hinata jumped in. “So I can be the hero, right? With superpowers and cool one-liners?”

“You would be a fine village idiot,” Kageyama added and caught the ball Hinata threw after him.

“Still better than the moon, right Kageyama?”

Clearing his throat Nishinoya stepped between the two fighting first-years.

“Come on please, it’s obvious that I am the hero, right Asahi-san?”

The conversation was interrupted by Tanaka and Kinoshita entering the scene and the former one released a deafening battle cry before launching himself at Asahi, only to be stopped by one of Daichi’s perfect blocks.

“Azumane-san?”   
  
And with that one word Sugawara’s inner alarm bells went off as Kageyama took that moment to let go of Hinata and walked towards them with a ball in his hand.

They had barely made Asahi’s return work without the mood growing stiff, but their youngest team member was really talented in changing that quickly.

“Uh, Kage...”   
  
“Wednesday we talked about that idea you had.” Kageyama apparently didn’t even notice that Sugawara tried to stop him. “And I tried out what you suggested with Tanaka-san, but your timing is just different so it didn’t work with him, so do you mind if we…?”   
  
“Yeah sure, I gave that another thought as well, now I know how it might work.”

Like it was the most natural thing in the world Asahi walked past Sugawara and took the ball from Kageyama.

“And I came up with a few more things I want to try out, too. Do you mind if we get right to it?”   
  
“No! I mean yes! Let’s do...”

“Hold it right there!”

Daichi stepped between them and fetched the ball Asahi was holding.

“You don’t start practicing jumps and spikes before you have warmed up properly, and Asahi, you don’t get to do anything before you change clothes.”

Shrinking under Daichi’s intimidating gaze Asahi rushed to the changing rooms.

“Like working with toddlers,” the captain complained, not all that seriously, and scoffed slightly, “and where the heck are the rest?”

“Daichi, it’s not even seven o’clock.” 

Sugawara approached his captain who was taking a deep breath of relief.

“So Asahi’s back?” Daichi asked and turned to Sugawara. Although the captain still looked like he was the adult in charge here, Sugawara knew exactly what he was thinking.

“It’s alright,” Sugawara smiled and Daichi simply nodded, patting his setter slightly too hard on his shoulder before heading to the changing room as well.

Sugawara stayed behind, taking a moment – while the other club members showed up – to talk with Nishinoya who was already warming himself up with the other ones and obviously more than ready to get to work.

“Say,” Sugawara said low enough for only the libero to hear him, “did you stay the whole weekend at Asahi’s place?”

The libero met his eyes with a way too innocent grin.

“Sure. My stuff was here so I couldn’t go home.”

“Okay, so what did you guys do all that time?”

“Studying, what else?”

From then on, the morning practice went as smoothly as usual, shockingly. Nobody talked about Asahi being back and nobody talked about what coach Ukai had told them on Thursday.

Actually it was just like every day, the organized chaos only maintained by Daichi’s loud voice hollering through the gym, ordering them to clean up.

Only one thing seemed different to Sugawara; Nishinoya was usually never far away from Asahi, but now it had become even more obvious. Even aside from the court both of them had spent a lot of time with each other, but now it seemed like the libero was connected to their ace by an invisible thread.

But it wasn’t like a sitting hen hoarding her freshly hatched fledgling, nor like a foal rushing after its mother.

Sugawara couldn’t describe it exactly, but he had the odd feeling that there was something that hadn’t been there before.

Something was happening, maybe another chemical reaction, similar to the one between Hinata and Kageyama? He didn’t know, but it wasn’t as obvious as between their two first-years. Still, he was excited to see what that new tension would result in.

Caught in his thoughts Sugawara watched the ace and libero leave.

“And during afternoon practice I want to set for you, at least a hundred times.”   
  
“As many as you want, but I still want to work on my serve, I need to control it better. Can’t let myself get beaten by a first-year at jump serves, right?”

“That’s the spirit, Asahi-san, just what I wanna hear from you.”

“Actually that was a joke, Nishi...”

 

*****

 

“Asahi-san!” He ripped the door open and stepped into the classroom. “Let’s go, practice time.”

“Nishinoya-kun! What are you doing here? Classes aren’t over yet!”

For a moment nobody said anything as the second-year with the spiky hair stood in the door frame and slowly looked over to the clock.   
  
“Oh, Sorry.”

Nishinoya stepped back and pulled the door closed, while all present students stared at  Asahi in the last row as he tried to hide his red face behind his desk.

The teacher looked at him in suspicion, before continuing to write numbers on the board and telling them their homework.

Right on time with the chime of the bell the door swooped open again and Nishinoya came back in.

“Asahi-san!” He stood there exactly the same way as two minutes ago. “Let’s go, practice time.”

The teacher rubbed his face in annoyance.

“Nishinoya-kun,  _ I _ am the one who says when class is over.”

But then he sighed.

“Or whatever, class is over. Remember to solve those problems from page 165 to 167, see you tomorrow. Azumane-kun, get lost to practice before I have to scold you and Nishinoya-kun for this misbehavior.”

Asahi rushed out of the door, followed by loud laughter.

“Nishinoya, you can’t pull something like that. What if the vice-principal hears about it?”

“Doesn’t matter as long as we get to practice on time.”

“And how come you were there before classes even ended? Did you...”

“Gosh Asahi-san, don’t worry about small stuff and come on.”

“Who’s the one worrying?” Asahi mumbled but followed his libero down the hallway. “After all you were the one showing up in my classroom.”

“Azumane!” Before Nishinoya could reply, their ace was called.

They turned around in unison and saw coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda hasten towards them. Their trainer regarding the corridor like he was caught in an old nightmare.

“Mr. Takeda, coach Ukai?” Both students shared a surprised look. “What are you doing here?”

Their club manager waved it away with a smile while their coach placed a hand on Asahi’s shoulder and turned to Nishinoya.

“We just need a little talk with Azumane. Why don’t you go ahead to practice, Nishinoya? We’ll be with you in a minute.”

Startled, Asahi looked down at the also clueless libero, before following his coach.

“Mr. Takeda,” Nishinoya called for the teacher who was just two steps behind Ukai and Asahi. “Is something wrong?”

Blushing slightly the teacher scratched the back of his head.

“Don’t worry, Nishinoya. We just have to talk to Azumane because he missed a few days and his mother called this morning. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Then their teacher hurried after the other ones.

_ I’m sure? _

That didn’t sound too reassuring to the libero.

Scoffing he walked towards the gym.

Could it be that Asahi was in trouble?   
  
“But that would be totally unfair!”   
  
Nishinoya hit the wall of the school building.

Fine, Asahi hadn’t been knocked out by the flu or some virus, but he had still been sick, right? The way he had been he wouldn’t have made it to school illness or not.

It would be totally unfair to penalize him only because his pain wasn’t of physical nature.

“What’s unfair?”

Nishinoya looked up in surprise. In front of him stood Hinata and Kageyama, each one holding a volleyball for whatever reason.

“Nothing,” Nishinoya huffed and waved it aside.

No, surely Asahi wasn’t in trouble, not by coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda; those two were probably just as glad that he was back as the rest of them.

Maybe it had something to do with the phone call of Mrs. Azumane, but could it be something serious?

Slowly he followed the two first-years to the gym and changed clothes.

Yesterday Asahi’s parents had returned in the early evening from their business trip, but nothing about the high-spirited dinner that followed had given any hint that something could have been off.

Together with the other ones Nishinoya prepared everything for practice.

“Hey Nishinoya, you know where Asahi’s at?” Sugawara asked while he was putting up the net with Tsukishima.   
  
“Oh I saw him in the teacher’s room when I picked up the second uniform just now.” Shimizu entered the gym with two huge bags, dodging Tanaka gracefully. “Mr. Takeda, coach Ukai, and his mother were there as well.”   
  
“What? What happened?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What did Asahi-san do?”   
  
All club members came together and asked questions nobody could answer.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Daichi clapped loudly and towered above them. “Right now we have no idea what’s going on. But we know that Asahi’s back and will practice with us, so don’t jump to sudden conclusions, but do what we do usually: practice.”

Loud and silent agreement met the captain.

“Good, so let’s start with warming up, so we’re ready to go when coach Ukai shows up.”

Nishinoya wasn’t all too happy about it, yet he nodded, slapped his cheeks in determination and ran over to Tanaka to follow his captain’s order, ignoring Sugawara’s outstretched hand.

At some point Asahi and both trainers actually showed up; Ukai with an arm around the ace’s shoulders and talking nonstop in a low voice to him, gesturing with his free hand while the ace nodded in concentration.

The libero wanted to run over and ask what was going on, but Asahi’s serious look made him stop. There was a strange aura surrounding the third-year and Nishinoya got  an odd feeling that he’d better not interfere.

As Asahi disappeared into the changing room, Ukai turned towards them and practice started. Only minutes later Asahi showed up as well and following the coach’s order he started to warm himself up.

Since their practice match against Ougiminami it was the first actual training they were having with all of them being present and it seemed like the simple presence of their ace was enough to lift their spirit as the practice went almost too well.

Nishinoya could convince even Kageyama to help him with his sets and to his overflowing joy Asahi and Daichi decided to help him too.

It was wrong to say that training was the same as always, although almost nothing had changed. Still they all noticed it - something was different, even though they didn’t know what it was; yet everybody could feel it and gave even more than ever before.

 

*****

 

As the clock struck seven thirty coach Ukai finally demanded them to start stretching – he had already called an end three times but hadn’t actually ordered them to stop – now however it had been an order. 

Asahi stood next to Sugawara and followed Daichi’s calls like everybody else.

“Hey Suga,” he mumbled as they stretched their hip, “can I ask you something?”

The setter looked at him with huge eyes, nodding subtly, while Nishinoya and Tanaka mimicked their captain with loud laughter.

“You remember some weeks ago when you offered me to join your study group? You think there might still be a place left?”

Now they leaned forward so Asahi couldn’t watch the setter. Tanaka and Nishinoya leaning exceptionally low, like they tried to avoid an angered gaze of a certain captain.

“Asahi,” Suga whispered so silently that probably nobody else could hear him. “Are you actually thinking about applying for a sports scholarship?”

Asahi lost his balance for half a second due to the shock. He wondered why he was blushing in embarrassment. After all, he didn’t really intend to keep it a secret, right?

It wasn’t such a big deal to apply for a scholarship, nothing he had to be ashamed of. During the conversation after class Mr. Takeda had explained to him, his mother, and coach Ukai that it was not even impossible.

It wouldn’t be easy; they had to make it far during Spring High and Asahi had to put up his A game during each single set, not even talking about his grades yet, but it wasn’t impossible, not impossible at all.

Still, it was a big step to admit to it right here, right now, and Asahi didn’t want either Nishinoya or Sugawara or anybody else to make a big fuss about it.

But if he would confirm Sugawara’s assumption now, he couldn’t influence how the other one would react. Of course their setter wasn’t one of their over-energized fools, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like to show his emotions wholeheartedly – especially when they were the good ones.

“Just do me a favor and don’t get loud about it here and now,” Asahi answered so low he was barely understanding himself. But he could already hear the scream building up within Sugawara’s chest.

In the last moment the setter caught himself by clamming his lips shut and clearing his throat loudly before choking on it and coughing unnaturally high. Some others gave Sugawara a questioning look, as he continued to cough, waved their worries away and continued to stretch his side.

“Next time give me some warning,” he scolded Asahi with serious, but glassy eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Sorry.” Asahi averted his eyes. Sugawara didn’t seem happy at all.

Of course not. It was actually very cocky of Asahi.

After all he had always said he never even planned on going to university and therefore wouldn’t need a studying group. To now ask another third-year – who had lost his regular spot to a first-year – for help because he was aiming for a sports scholarship, was actually kind of…   
  
“You’re such a meanie,” Sugawara grumbled from his side and confirmed Asahi’s worst fears. “I mean, at first you’re gone for days and then you drop a bomb like that, in the middle of practice and I’m supposed to shut up about it like this is no big deal?”

“What?” 

Confused, he turned towards the setter as they stretched their upper arms.

Sugawara winked at him with a wide grin.

“A sports scholarship,” he whispered like a magic spell, “I’m so proud of you. Had never expected you coward to have the guts to actually try for it.”

“Okay guys, we’re done! Get everything ready and then go change!” Daichi had officially finished their training and the club members scattered to clean up.

Daichi stayed behind and joined Asahi and Sugawara, his face clearly showing that he knew what was up.

But even before Daichi could say something Sugawara placed a hand on Asahi’s shoulder.   
  
“Don’t you worry, I’ll make sure to get you into my study group. Mom knows ways nobody would dream of to convince the other parents and I’ll help you to catch up. Not like you missed that much yet.”

Daichi patted his back strongly.

“Well, looks like I was right,” he laughed in relief. “It seemed odd to me that your mother would take time off work to come here only because you got scolded for some misbehavior - from coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei, nonetheless. On the other hand I thought you would be way too much of a wimp to actually apply for a scholarship.”

The team’s ace tried to reply to those praising insults but wasn’t even able to make himself heard as Daichi turned to his setter.

“Do you remember what Takeda-sensei said? How far do we have to make it at Nationals?”   
  
“Oh, let me think about it for a second,” Sugawara said, placing thumb and forefinger against his chin, rubbing his neck with the other hand. “Well it all depends of course on the individual performance of each single player. A bad one can never get a scholarship even if the team wins Nationals, but Takeda-sensei said that it’s almost impossible for one of us to get one if we can’t make it to the playoffs.”

Daichi laughed again “Well we got that part done and even Shiratori...”

“The third round,” Asahi mumbled silently, not feeling the easy mood of the other two, who were talking about this matter like it was as good as done. It almost felt like they were mocking him. “Takeda-sensei just calculated that we have to make it into the third round at least, so that I even stand a chance for a scholarship. He said it wouldn’t matter for a scholarship if I am in a class that specifically prepares for university or not as long as my grades are good. But no matter how good they are, realistically we would have to make it into the quarter final, if we get that far then… then...”

Just imagining it made him tear up, at the same time the way they had to follow was a long one and even tougher.

Never before had their team made it to Nationals; this was their first time and now they needed to make it that far straight away?

How likely was that really?   
  
And wasn’t it kind of unfair of him to burden the shoulders of his team members with the decision over his whole…

“So we will get there!”

Asahi looked up in surprise and met Daichi’s eyes.

“We will win every single game and go as far as possible. This is our last chance to win with this team, so we're going to do that as often as we can and you will get your scholarship, okay?”   
  
Asahi had no words that could possibly explain his feelings.

“But Daichi,” Sugawara interfered with a smile, “even if we win Nationals...” The setter sounded like he was certain they could make it. “...Asahi will only get a scholarship if he puts up great performances on the court.”

“Oh, you’re right there.” The captain nodded seriously, just to box Asahi rather hard against the shoulder.

“Ouch!”   
  
“So we’re counting on you, ace! Crush as many blocks as possible and get those points for our team, got it?!”   
  
“Exactly!” Sugawara boxed against Asahi’s other shoulder. “Let’s all do our best, okay?”

“Okay!” Asahi nodded while fighting tears, giving each of them a high five and earning more pats on his shoulders and the back of his head, before they finally started to help the others cleaning up the gym, although they were almost done.

If the others had heard something about their conversation Asahi couldn’t tell, but because nobody mentioned it he doubted it and was kind of relieved.

He needed some time to process this decision himself and to realize what that would actually mean; besides, he had no clue how to inform his teammates without making a big deal out of it.

Maybe it was better to not put it on the younger ones;, the first-years especially already put a lot of pressure on themselves, they didn’t need the additional worry about his future.

Satisfied with this decision he followed Sugawara back to the changing room, which was already reeking with sweaty minors.

The mood was light despite the late hour and nobody really hurried to be done. Asahi settled on one of their folding chairs and took his time to take his shoes off. Despite, or perhaps because of the lack of training, the past four days had been incredibly exhausting.  But he didn’t want to show how tired he was, otherwise Nishinoya would scold him again for skipping practice.

“Asahi-san!” He ripped his head up in shock. Speaking of the devil...

Nishinoya – only wearing his volleyball shorts – towered in front of him, almost throwing several flyers in his face.

“So,” the libero explained in a clear voice, catching the attention of anybody present, “I did some research and these are the ones I would consider.”

He was holding up brochures of different universities.

“Yamagata is quite good, but way too far, we’d had to live on campus, and I don’t know if that’s covered by scholarships. That’s why I thought about Tohoku or Sendai, they have their own scholarship agenda, but in my opinion the MYU is the one, and it’s actually close enough to drive there from here.”

“Nishi...”

“Besides their volleyball team is damn good – because the trainer is supposed to be a true monster – and some of their players even made it to professional clubs.”

“Nishinoya.”

“That’s also why their requirements are extremely high. They even have a full ride scholarship, but I didn’t even understand half of the conditions written on their website, so I have no clue if you’d even come into consideration. Even with the average scholarship it might be difficult to go there, because they can kind of choose who they want to have in their club, but...”

“Nishinoya!”

Asahi stood up, feeling short of breath.

When the hell did Nishinoya have the time to look up different universities?

And why was he announcing his research in the changing room with everybody present? What the hell was Asahi supposed to do now?

Asahi’s heart pounded like it was about to burst and he realized that all eyes were fixed on him.

“So that’s how it is.” Tanaka folded his arms in front of his bare chest and nodded respectfully at Asahi. “You applied for a sports scholarship.”

Then Tanaka stepped forward and slapped Asahi against his shoulder – the exact same spot Daichi had aimed for before.

“I think that’s awesome. Thought about that myself for next year, but...”

“With your grades you would need to become World Champion to even stand a chance to be accepted at any university,” Ennoshita commented dryly.

“But Nishinoya,” Sugawara laughed, failing to keep his scolding manners up, “you don’t choose a university for the club you want to play in but after the possibilities it offers for your career. You need to study something you want to work in later as an adult.”

“Coming from the very person, who considers applying for a physics scholarship in Basel, just because he likes Swiss chocolate,” the captain muttered behind a hand and winked at his setter, who stuck his tongue out at him.

“But why not?” Kageyama asked innocently while sticking his head through his shirt and turned to Sugawara. “If I plan to play professional volleyball shouldn’t I choose the university which can prepare me best for that career?”

There was neither arrogance nor vanity in his voice, it was a totally honest question, asking his senior for advice concerning his future.

“But Kageyama,” Sugawara laughed louder now, “it’s not that...”

“Wow, Asahi-san!” Hinata exclaimed. “You plan on becoming an international player as well?”

“ _ As well? _ ” Tsukishima choked on his own chuckle.

Asahi felt everybody staring at him again.

“Wait a second,” Tanaka interrupted, “you wanna tell me that our first-year freaks and then Noya and now you as well want to play professional volleyball?”   
  
“Of course!” libero and setter answered in unison, Nishinoya jumping high into the air.

“B..bet on it!” Hinata exclaimed slightly hesitating before growing louder with each word.

“So what about you?” Everyone got strangely quiet as Asahi didn’t say anything and Daichi looked at him seriously, but something about his eyes told Asahi exactly what he wanted to say.

“Okay guys, listen up.” He raised both arms in defeat. “That’s still pretty far in the future, right? Who knows what next year will bring or what will happen after this school year. I think we shouldn’t look too far ahead. Like coach Ukai said it’s best to focus on the opponent right in front of us.”   
  
Daichi grinned. Asahi knew that their captain had been worried that their team spirit would crumble under the ego of a few.

With new courage the ace continued: “So what do you think about leaving discussions about universities for next year and instead keep concentrating on the first round of Spring High and then we will fight on till we win Nationals!”

Roaring approval greeted him.

“Okay guys!” Daichi clapped once loudly. “What a speech from our ace! Gather around guys!”

They came together in an uneven circle, each holding a fist into the middle.

“Karasuno…!”   
  
“Fight!”

  
  


 


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody,
> 
> thank you all for your patience, I know it took me somewhat longer than anticipated, but I hope you all can still enjoy the final part of my little story.
> 
> Have a lot of fun and thank you all for your warm and gentle words.
> 
>  
> 
> Sharry

Epilogue 

 

“Hey, thanks for saving me a seat; I had to stay longer at work.”   
  
“There you are, Yoshida, you missed the first set!”

“Oh, and who took it home?”

“Well guess who? You didn’t seriously think that Monsuta-sensei would actually lose a set, did you?”

“Are you his fanboy or what, Naoi?”

Grinning like a fool Nekoma High’s coach scooted to the side so the other one could sit down.    
  
The bleachers were crowded and it was so loud that it was impossible to understand what the coach down on the field was yelling at his players – not even mentioning what the players were saying to each other – even their own conversation was almost drowned by the cheering squads.

Even the first playoffs for Nationals were such huge gatherings for spectators that saving a seat to watch was almost impossible.

“Of course, I actually wanted to apply here some years ago, but then there was that free spot at Nekoma’s which gave me an opportunity to support our kittens.”

Yoshida, Naoi’s former teammate from back in high school, took a look at the court. Unlike the playoffs in middle and high school the University National’s held only one game at a time, because there were way less teams competing.

Right now, two good old rivals where opposing each other.

“Given that Monsuta has such a big name player the second set isn’t going well for them; they are five points behind,” Yoshida noted, almost disappointed about the current score.

“Yeah that’s totally normal.”

“What? Why?”

“Well Monsuta-sensei has his own style. In the first official game of every year he lets the experienced players take the first set home so he can try out the newcomers in the second set.”

“Really? Right, now that you mention it, except for the libero everybody else are first-years, right? But that’s cool. Takes away a lot of pressure being in the lead and knowing that the seniors can catch them if they stumble in this set.”   
  
Naoi grinned mischievously and nodded down to the court where a wing spiker just got blocked.

“Yeah, you’d think that, but actually the pressure on the newbies is extremely high. Coach Monsuta gives each of them exactly one chance to shine, and well if they can’t convince him...” The ref’s whistle hollered through the gym and the player with number twelve was exchanged. “… they have to leave the court and the dream of becoming a regular is as good as gone.”

Yoshida took a closer look at the player on the side of the court, holding up the paddle with number twelve.

“But that ain’t a first-year, right? So Monsuta wants to take that set no matter what?”

Nekoma High’s coach shook his head and regarded the new wing spiker as well, who was obviously just as nervous as everybody else on the court.

“Oh no, he’s a newbie, I know him; last year he was Karasuno High’s ace. Got pretty good.”   
  
“What? You want to tell me he isn’t even twenty yet? Uff, looking pretty gruff for his age.”

“Don’t let him hear you,” Naoi laughed and his former teammate nodded seriously.

“Yeah, he looks like one of those guys I wouldn’t want to meet alone in a dark alley.”

“What? Number three? Oh no, believe me outside court he’s about as aggressive as a labrador puppy. No, but his shrimp of a boyfriend – another volleyball player – if he hears you talking bad about goatee down there, believe me he will make you regret it.”

The unknowing Yoshida wanted to reply something but interrupted himself as tension flooded the gym.

The score was 19 to 23 and it was time for number three to serve.

“Gee, that’s tough, not being on the court for even two minutes and if he messes up now, the other team will have the set point. Quite the pressure.”

Naoi simply nodded, not saying anything. Yoshida was right, Monsuta was living up to his name, putting a player into such a situation his first – and probably last – time being on the court. Besides if he recalled correctly the former crow wasn’t the most confident one.

On the other hand that guy had been the ace during his school career and an ace should be able to master such a situation level-headed without breaking under pressure.

Number three just caught the ball thrown at him and walked down to the baseline, past his teammates who obviously tried to encourage him, but none of them could lighten the burden crashing down on his shoulders right now.

Suddenly a small figure chased down the stairs beside them, throwing himself halfway over the rail.

“Asahi!”

The gym was roaring and countless voices were cheering, trying to drown each other and still everybody could hear it. Suddenly the crowd quieted down, only a low-key mumbling buzzed through the gym. Naoi suddenly recognized who was hanging over the rail.

“Asahi! We won!”

“Who’s that?”, Yoshida whispered. “Doesn’t he notice he’s interrupting number three’s concentration?”

“Nishinoya, don’t yell something like that into another person’s game.”   
  
“Gee, this is embarrassing.”

“Wow, look Kageyama, so many visitors and there’s only one match at a time.”   
  
“And you are even more embarrassing.”

“Looks like we made it in time. It’s Asahi-san’s serve.”

Out of the corner of his eye Naoi watched them coming down the stairs like a murder of crows in their black uniforms; they looked almost even more frightening than in the past, especially Ukai, who grabbed the libero’s collar and dragged him away from the rail.   
The black-haired boy with the number one next to his coach seemed like he was filling out the big shoes the crow’s former captain had left behind.

To be honest Naoi couldn’t really remember the new captain; last year he hadn’t been one of the regulars but now his aura was just as intimidating as Kuroo’s – Nekoma’s former captain – who patted number three’s back down on the court.

“It’s time.”

Listening to the ref’s whistle the hall calmed down, became way too quiet for so many people, remembering that they were in the middle of a game.  Number three nodded swiftly up to the bleachers before concentrating on the ball in his hand.

He started running, jumped high - “A jump serve?” - and then he hit it!

“Service ace!”

The ball hit the exact corner of base- and sideline, untouched.

The crowd went wild.

“Boah, that one was powerful!” Karasuno’s little orange twister yelled.

“That took some high-level precision to hit that corner or was it just a fluke?” The black-haired setter next to him mumbled much quieter so that Naoi had a hard time hearing him, but he agreed with that. But one thing he knew for certain, if that wasn’t a fluke then Karasuno’s former ace had turned into a real weapon. Already back in school his serves and spikes had been quite powerful but not nearly as precise.

Number three got ready for the next set, ran, jumped, and…

“Service ace!”

This time the ball hit the corner on the other end of the baseline.

“Kageyama, don’t you think his serve has become better than yours?”

“Shut up you dumbass, I'm still better!”

So it had been no fluke at all.

“Wow, now they only need two more points.”

Next serve! This time the libero was there on time, but the ball bounced off his arms and flew straight into the wall.

“Another point!”

“A perfect volleyball game would mean to take the whole set with serves in order to prevent the opponent from even setting up a counter attack.”

Although the crowd was cheering loud enough to raise the gym’s roof Nishinoya could still hear those words whispered by Karasuno’s coach and he had to agree. Certainly it wouldn’t be an aesthetic game, but truly perfect, unbeatable.

“Tie!”

 

*****

 

“Gosh, what’s taking him so long? We’ve been waiting here for years.”

Tanaka rubbed his tired eyes.

“I told you, Asahi always takes forever to get changed, we should just go and pick him up.”

“We shouldn’t Nishinoya. Remember, Asahi-san’s no high schooler anymore but a university student, so we can’t just barge into the changing rooms.”

“Ennoshita’s right. It would be impolite to bother their team, so stay patient. Azumane will surely come soon.”   
  
Karasuno’s volleyball team stood in the gym’s hallway and waited for the last match’s winning team.

After their own game Nishinoya had quickly convinced them to go watch their former ace and cheer for him and his team.

“Remember to properly thank Takeda-sensei, who’s spending his after-hours at a gym because of us,” Ukai reminded them.

“No, no Ukai. That’s fine. I was really glad to see Azumane play again,” the teacher waved it aside.

“What are you guys doing here?” An all too familiar voice came from behind them. “So I wasn’t mistaken when I thought I heard Nishinoya yell throughout the whole gym.”

Surprised they turned around., Behind them stood a student in a blue sports uniform, the badge of his university right above his heart.

“But isn’t that...?”

“Daichi!”

The crow’s former captain smiled at them. At first glance it didn’t seem like he had changed during the last few months, yet he appeared more mature, even more like a grown-up.

“What are you doing here?” Tanaka asked cheekily and Kinoshita slammed his hand against his face, groaning in annoyance.

“Didn’t you look at the schedule?” Tsukishima asked, just as irritated. “Sawamura-san’s team played in the match before Azumane-san’s, right?”

“Sawamura, I heard you already made a regular, despite being a first-year, good job.”

Daichi bowed slightly in thanks for the praise by his former coach.

“But only because we’re quite a small club.” Yet he grinned widely. “But congrats to all of you for reaching the semi-final. Tomorrow I’ll be the one to watch you guys, because we only have official matches on weekends, so make your old captain proud, alright?”

“Yes sir!”

They bowed in unison while coach and student nodded at each other grinning foolishly. Daichi really had the talent to find the right words to enlighten their fighting spirit even more.   
  
“Oh look over there, here comes the hero of the hour.”

The crows turned around as loud voices behind them filled the hallway. Several students wearing the same sport uniform came out of another hallway, some of them beat even Tsukishima by a few centimeters. Between those giants Asahi was only noted because of his broad shoulders and mature looks.

Although he was one of the younger ones, he seemed older than most of them. Some of them patted his shoulder.

“Asahi!” Nishinoya called out and jumped towards their former ace. “That was awesome! You were amazing!”

“Thanks, Noya,” Asahi laughed and gave him a high-five, “and congratulations. Sorry I missed your game, but tomorrow I will...”   
  
“Number three!”

Asahi froze  as his trainer came down the hallway.

“Mr. Monsuta, Sir!”

Not only Asahi but all present members of his team stiffened like recruits in front of their instructor.

“Is this your former team?”   
  
“Yes, sir!”

The old man nodded and observed the high schoolers carefully.

“I will watch the next game and afterwards is the debriefing, so don’t be late.”

“Of course not, sir. Thank you, sir!”

The old man nodded again and walked on, caught in a deep conversation with his assistant coach.

Just as Asahi gave his former team an embarrassed smile, another voice yelled: “Number three!”

The crowd of students parted and a surprisingly small player showed up between the giants while Asahi almost saluted again.   
  
“Vice-captain number four!”

To everyone’s surprise the vice-captain didn’t look at his teammate but lifted his chin and observed Nishinoya dismissively.

“Number zero!”

The crow’s libero placed both hands on his hips and met the student on eye-level.

“Still number four!”

“Like you and your miserable sets could ever threaten me.”

Nishinoya’s teammates realized in bewilderment that both liberos seemed to know each other.

“Number four.” An annoyed-looking blond, about as tall as Asahi, showed up next to the former ace. “Stop mocking high schoolers, that’s childish.”

“Yes captain,” the other student answered while rolling his eyes.

“Number zero,” the captain nodded towards Nishinoya.

“Number seven,” the libero nodded back.

“Okay guys, let’s go watch the game,” the blond ordered and the players started moving.

“Number three, don’t be late for the debriefing.”

Asahi bowed quickly.

“Oh gee,” Tanaka mumbled and scratched the back of his head while the students walked off, one particular familiar rooster head winking at them, “that’s some icy mood you got there.”

Asahi laughed lightly and rubbed his neck. “Well, it seems a little bit disciplinary at first, but they’re actually quite alright. Although coach Monsuta is rather strict.”

“But what about those numbers?” Yamaguchi asked curiously. “Don’t you use your names even among each other?”

“Not as long as we’re in uniform,” Asahi explained with a grin. “It’s a traditional thing. The number you play with during your first official match will be yours until you leave the team.”

“Seriously?” Hinata wondered with big eyes and folded his arms. “I thought it was cool you got such a low number directly.”

“Oh well, you know...” the student mumbled, rubbing his neck again.

“That’s a funny story,” Daichi interrupted him and threw an arm around his shoulders, “because you know, our dear Asahi got this number by pure luck.”

“Yeah, you’re right, that was really funny,” Nishinoya laughed as well.

“And how come you know about that?” Tsukishima grumbled, who could imagine better things to spend his time with after a tough competition day than standing in a gym lobby talking about numbers. The new first-years took a step back from him.

“Oh, I was there of course. I miss almost none of Asahi’s games, except when we have our own or we have practice.”

“Please make sure your grades don’t suffer because of this,” Asahi mumbled, blushing.

“So what happened?” Kageyama asked, looking way too curious for his normal behavior.

“Well,” Daichi explained, “at the beginning of each year our teams have a training match to try out the newcomers. Because Asahi’s team is rather big, they got only newbies on the court, unlike us.”

“Yeah, it’s totally disappointing that Asahi hasn’t even become a regular yet,” Nishinoya noted with folded arms. “Daichi-san already made it, Asahi.”

While the former ace apologized to the libero the former captain continued. 

“Asahi was the first to serve but well, let’s just say he failed in every way possible.”

“Daichi,” Asahi complained but wasn’t able to stop the other one.

“He tried a jump float serve, but it was way too short and fell directly on top of the setter’s head.”

Some eyes wandered to Kageyama while not only Asahi but Hinata as well blushed.

“And Mr. Monsuta went on a rampage because that was  _ the worst serve, _ he’d ever seen.”

Ukai laughed: “To try out a not totally safe serve as a first act on a new team is pretty brave, or stupid.”

“I didn’t plan it like that,” Asahi tried to explain, “I wanted to make a normal jump serve but I got distracted.”

“Distracted? By what?” Ennoshita asked.

“It was his back number,” Nishinoya winked. “You could see it the whole time, he was scratching his jersey and kept looking around like he was expecting to be yelled at by somebody. After Asahi’s serve Daichi-san pointed out that he’s probably expecting Kageyama showing up any second.”

The former captain laughed and shook his head.

“No, I told him to _ stop worrying _ about Kageyama showing up and ripping his clothes off.”

Startled, the crows looked up.

“I?” The setter asked in confusion, pointing at himself.

“You were nervous because you were wearing the number nine and it kept reminding you of Kageyama all the time?” Kinoshita asked.

“Totally relatable,” Hinata nodded. “It’s hard for me to concentrate, too, if I think about Kageyama.”

“You know that I’m right behind you?” The setter hissed and pressed his hand down on the Hinata’s head.

“Monsuta wanted to switch him out right away,” Nishinoya continued, “but Daichi-san and Kuroo-san kept mocking Asahi about him needing to wear his former number to play well and that he should be glad that Kageyama wasn’t his setter right now, and for whatever reason Monsuta actually went with it. He had that other guy with the glasses change bibs and everything in the middle of the game.”

“And since then I’m number three,” Asahi concluded before anybody else could reveal more embarrassing details.

“Okay guys.” Ukai clapped his hands and tried to drown the laughter. “What do you think about watching another round of the grown-ups playing before we head home for our very own debriefing.”

All former and current players of Karasuno loudly agreed and followed their coach.

“Say,” Asahi turned to his former captain, “have you heard something from Sugawara? He ordered me to call him directly after the match, but I didn’t know if...”

“Don’t worry,” Daichi answered, “I just called him. He watched both matches via live stream and he was hoarse from cheering too much.”

“What? At this time? What time is it actually over there? He probably woke up the whole dorm.”

“I think he’s seven hours behind us and I promised to tell you that he’s very proud of you and will come home for two weeks at the end of June, exactly when the High School Nationals and our Qualifiers are. He wants to watch us all playing.”

“Is he my mom or what?”

Laughing both students followed the high schoolers.

The crow’s trainer fell behind and convinced the former ace to introduce him to Monsuta.

 

“Mr. Monsuta, the attack leading to the 33th point, can you answer me a question about it?”

“No,” the old man denied roughly without taking his eyes from the field. “I never explain my tricks, this is why we’re that good, and because I hate to lose.”

Ukai gulped. Who thought that his grandfather was a tyrant had never met this guy.

“But if you want to you can talk to my assistant coach and set up a practice match, Keishin Ukai, grandson of Ikkai Ukai.”

“Uhm, thank you sir, but you are aware that I’m coaching a high school club, right?”

“Really? Number zero and that shrimp with the orange hair gave me the impression you were working with middle schoolers. But yes, this year we have even more first-years than usual and I need to sort them out, but for that I need a well-functioning team. Right now however all university teams try out their own first-years, just like us, so if you have no problem with us crushing your kids like flies, we can play against each other.”

“A challenge we gladly accept,” Ukai gnarled with an evil grin.

“Besides,” coach Monsuta mumbled softly enough only his assistant coach could hear him, “I’m rather interested to see how number three will react playing against his former team, especially number zero.”

“You know that if you keep calling that high schooler number zero it almost sounds like he’s already part of the team?” The younger trainer asked.

“Oh well, what to do? With all the time he’s spending with the team I sometimes already get the feeling he’s our mascot.”   
  
A few rows in front of them Karasuno’s team plus Daichi and Asahi watched the court.

“Yū,” Asahi mumbled, “stop irritating number four, okay? Besides I’m really worried about you getting enough time for your own practice and studying.”

“Nonsense!” The libero waved it aside. “Watching you guys play motivates me. We’ll be better than you, I promise. We’ll make it to Nationals and make it further than you guys.”

“I’m not even a regular, what kind of competition is that?”

“One I already won, apparently.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” the former ace replied.

“Hey Azumane-san.” Kageyama leaned forward between Asahi and Nishinoya from the row behind them. “What I wanted to ask you; how do you deal with studying if you make it into the National team? Mr. Takeda advised me to stay registered, but I wonder...”

“There are special programs for students making it into the National team. You can even stay part of your university’s team. Although many prefer to change over to professional clubs, if they get good offers,” the student answered while he watched the game. “With a scholarship it’s smarter to stay with your university though, because once you’re out you’ll lose it for good. Besides it’s always smart to be prepared in case a sports career doesn’t work out.”

“Still a coward,” Daichi commented but his laugh wasn’t honest, “you’re already well informed about the matter.”

Asahi didn’t reply while Kageyama leaned back, watching the back of Asahi’s head with concentrated eyes.

“Who would have thought a year ago that we would talk about something like that today, right?” Daichi mumbled and placed his lower arms on his legs.

Asahi rubbed his face, nodding.

“A little more than a year ago all my spikes were blocked by the iron wall,” he said way too seriously, “at that time I thought I would never be able to play volleyball again.”

“So what do you think today?” Daichi asked and recalled that day.   
  
Asahi next to him regarded his right hand.

“I’m strong,” he whispered, “not just a strong body, strong muscles. Unlike then, I also got a strong will now.”

With a glance to the side Asahi watched Nishinoya, who leaned back to discuss with Kageyama, Hinata, and Tanaka how cool it would be to play down there one day.

“You’re right, in some things I’m still not confident, still a coward, but this here...”

He shook his head.

“Everything concerning this Daichi, I’m no wimp anymore, too afraid of having my own opinion or letting somebody down.” 

Daichi nodded seriously and watched his former teammate, who was still regarding the libero.

“So the glass heart really broke,” he meant with a small smile.

“It did,” Asahi nodded confidently and turned towards Daichi, a sparkle in his warm eyes and with a shining face, “and now there is nothing that can stop me. I will crush any block and take any last point for a set. I know what I want and I will take it. After all, I’m a crow from Karasuno, I, too, can fly again.”

The former captain didn’t reply but turned in his seat, observing his former teammates, watched Nishinoya hit Asahi in his side and scolding him for something, behind them Kageyama and Hinata bickering with each other, next to them Tanaka who got scolded by Ennoshita, on the other side Tsukishima who followed the match only halfheartedly, while Yamaguchi lowly talked with Yachi, who seemed so much more confident then when they had met for the first time. Just behind them sat Narita and Kinoshita, Narita almost asleep and Kinoshita talking to the first-years in a serious manner with a raised forefinger.

Daichi’s eyes went further back where coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda were talking with coach Monsuta and his assistant coach.

One year ago he had been the captain of a broken team and now…

“Now spread your wings and fly,” he whispered, “fly!”

And before Daichi knew what happened everybody was looking at him with huge smiles.

None of them noted what the crowd around them did, but suddenly Ennoshita got up and with him every single player of Karasuno’s. Asahi and Daichi hurried to get back on their feet, too.

“One more time, Daichi,” Asahi whispered and without further prompting the former captain lifted his fist high in the air.

“Karasuno…!”

“Fight!”

But in the very next moment they all bowed deeply in front of Daichi and yelled in unison: “Thank you for the game!”

  
  



End file.
